tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post1877825743079946068..comments2023-11-02T09:33:26.807-05:00Comments on Baby Love Slings: Emotions of TransitionFarrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09007898882390399053noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-18933918492052515152008-09-23T10:36:00.000-05:002008-09-23T10:36:00.000-05:00It sounds to me like you really need some time for...It sounds to me like you really need some time for yourself so that you can clear your head: sometimes, we become so devoted to our kids (and we work ourselves soooooo hard), that we utterly exhaust ourselves. Then we lose our ability to have some perspective on our problems.<BR/><BR/>Take a few minutes to do something that feels relaxing. It can be some deep breathing, a five-minute magazine dive, or a headstand. It can be laughing at a cartoon or drawing a picture. Something that has nothing to do with your little boys. It will remind you that you are a strong, connected, instinctive woman and mother, and that this too shall pass!<BR/><BR/>Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" is a great book, by the way, put out by the same publisher who published my book, "Mothers Need Time Outs, Too!"<BR/><BR/>katrin<BR/>www.momstimeouts.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-49457121315292578252008-09-21T14:38:00.000-05:002008-09-21T14:38:00.000-05:00Sweet friend, you could be reciting what you see i...Sweet friend, you could be reciting what you see if you were to look in our windows around any bedtime.<BR/><BR/>The demands of two, in addition to the physical and emotional needs of myself and the regular absence of my husband (for work), quite diminish my ability to be the mother that I truly want to be.<BR/><BR/>Katherine begs for "someone to help me go to sleep." When I have a squirming (or screaming) infant to soothe and/or daddy is out of town it is impossible to gently parent her to sleep. It quickly escalates to an unpleasant scene for all involved. Add her volume and tenacity to the mix and we are all miserable, tired, and feeling wholly inadequate.<BR/><BR/>I don't have an answer for you, just the assurance that you are not alone in loving your kids more than you can express yet feeling like you fail them.<BR/><BR/>You are a loving and attentive mother. Your boys are blessed to have you. One of our La Leche leaders always tells us that they (our kids) will eventually sleep through the night, on their own, in their own beds. I wish eventually were now, but know that it will come.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17729861398591901681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-81554716527899038512008-09-21T08:32:00.000-05:002008-09-21T08:32:00.000-05:00Ps. Someone said to me when Anne was about 6 mont...Ps. Someone said to me when Anne was about 6 months old and I had a moment like you had "They don't remember and we try to forget." I thought that was so true and so poniont (bad spelling.) I hope that saying might encourage your heart somehow.Atwood-Family of FIVEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08787773315886171839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-10623801043847466072008-09-21T08:26:00.000-05:002008-09-21T08:26:00.000-05:00Sometimes motherhood is an incredibly thin balance...Sometimes motherhood is an incredibly thin balance between what we need as mothers/parents/adults/humans and what our child needs. Sometimes we have to make those tough choices where someone is unhappy-either us because we are doing something we don't want to do but know it's better for our kids or for our kids because we need to do something for ourselves and they will be unhappy.<BR/><BR/>One thing I learned deeply when Anne was an infant was that if I didn't take care of myself, I was a horrible mother. My line, where I need to do what I need to do for myself, is much higher up than it sounds like your line is. It sounds like you have incredibly more patience and understanding and tolerance than I could ever hope to imagine. And still, it sounds like the other day you reached your line. I won't give advice on what you could or should do w/ naptimes with Lucas, just give you something to think about or relay my experience where I've been in that place where I had to do things that made Anne uphappy so I could take care of myself first then be able to cater to her needs so much better than I ever could if I didn't take care of myself.<BR/><BR/>Good luck-as everyone has said, you are an amazing mother and I know whatever choice you make, it will be with love and thoughfulness.<BR/><BR/>AprilAtwood-Family of FIVEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08787773315886171839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-48652479457111776672008-09-20T19:41:00.000-05:002008-09-20T19:41:00.000-05:00Farrah, I don't have any words of wisdom for you, ...Farrah, I don't have any words of wisdom for you, as I haven't been in this place. But I want you to know that you are doing a GREAT job as a mother - to all of your boys. <BR/><BR/>I pray that rest comes for all of you. Rest for your bodies and for your souls. That rest helps with perspective. <BR/><BR/>{{Hugs}}Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03954179323097955442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-75010566380594405772008-09-20T14:26:00.000-05:002008-09-20T14:26:00.000-05:00I wish I had some words of wisdom about the sleep ...I wish I had some words of wisdom about the sleep issue but I fall way short of my motherly duties there myself. I'm such a softie when it comes to sleep that our three-year-old still has difficulty sleeping alone.<BR/><BR/>However, I can tell you this. Part of the transition you're experiencing right now is Lucas having to adapt to everything in his world changing. Even though he's still little, learning to adapt to life changes is an important part of growing up. You are certainly NOT neglecting him in any way and I'm sure he knows you love him. It's obvious that you demonstrate that on a daiy basis. <BR/><BR/>Kids are smart and it doesn't take them long too figure out exactly what to say or do to get their way and I think he probably knows he can get your attention by saying some of those things. My little one is about his age and will tell me no one loves her whenever she is over-tired and competing for my attention. Does she really think no one loves her? Nah. She just knows how to push mama's buttons.<BR/><BR/>I think you are doing a great job, and its obvious you care deeply about your boys. They will make it through this transition fine, and so will you. The illness and lack of sleep is obviously a big factor. Just stick to your guns about naptime, be consistent and it will work itself out. Oh, and cry whenver you need to!<BR/><BR/>((((Hugs))) I hope this was at least a little helpful.Mindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726796954968328204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322140320680326931.post-67051827247416250482008-09-19T20:29:00.000-05:002008-09-19T20:29:00.000-05:00Oh, sweet Farrah, you are NOT failing at mothering...Oh, sweet Farrah, you are NOT failing at mothering. You are just adjusting to life with two to take care of. Everything you and Lucas are feeling is perfectly normal, and just because you can't always meet his needs does not mean that he feels any less loved by you. He is just expressing in words that he knows what it feels like to not have you there every second. That is not failed attachment parenting, it is a natural part of growing up. It is a small part right now, but those moments will get more frequent as Lucas grows. Before you know it, he will actually want them (like when he turns 4...that is our issue this week...)<BR/><BR/>These emotions are part of adjusting to having another little person, and they will not last forever. While I did miss my ability to meet all of Calvin's needs immediately once Hobbes was born, the way that they have become entwined in one another's lives has more than made up for it. The love is not diminished, it is grown with the addition of another person. The newborn stage is so short, and pretty soon Lucas will be getting and giving love from Caden, and you will be the one feeling left out. It is how it should be.<BR/><BR/>You will not be able to meet every need of your boys all of the time, and that is okay. That is why this parenting thing drives us to lean on God so much, to trust that He is fulfilling all of their needs in ways that we never can. Your boys know that their mama loves them, and Lucas has a secure enough foundation in that to get through this adjustment just fine. I promise!<BR/><BR/>I love you!!! (Though tomorrow you are my mortal enemy...Go Vols!)TwoSquareMealshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01000292109449832461noreply@blogger.com