Mother who works or Working Mother?

>> Saturday, November 14, 2009

Let me start by saying, I miss blogging. I miss feeling like a regularly could process my thoughts and life here and get feedback from my fellow moms. I miss reading blogs and commenting and being part of your lives too. I really hope to get back into my blogging groove soon. Don't give up on me yet. I value you, my blogging (and RL) friends.

Thank you to all of you who chimed in with some great advice and encouragement on my last dilemma. It was so helpful to read your comments as I tried to decide if I should let my little getaway be the time for weaning Caden or try to hold on to nursing for a bit longer. As it turned out, I did pump twice a day while I was gone. Caden did great with no nursing (and no bottles either, the stubborn little fool) for the almost 5 days we were gone. Then when he saw me, he picked it right up as if we had never been apart. In fact, he wanted to make up for lost time. I do think that my milk supply and hormones were affected by the break. I have some further evidence to that end that I won't share here. TMI. But, Caden is still nursing and I am glad he is. But I didn't let the pumping get in the way of our fun. We had a fabulous time celebrating a big Gators win and our 10yr. anniversary.

With that dilemma behind me, I move on to the next.

I am a nurse part-time in a cardiac interventional lab (angioplasty, etc..) . I love my job, I love what I do. I worked really hard to get here and so I feel good that I am keeping my foot in the door and keeping my skills and knowledge current and using my hard-earned degree. Not to mention that the extra $$ helps our budget tremendously. We would have to live MUCH tighter without my income. And although I only work one day a week, I have always thought that once the boys got a little older and in school, I would probably increase my hours a bit.
In an unexpected turn of events, I am now faced with a work-decision that I didn't expect to have to make for several years still. I am being asked by some of the MDs that I work with to join a fairly prestigious sub-specialty team within my department. It would be a great move for my career and I am very honored that they want me. It would also mean more $$ and a few other perks too. No brainer, eh? Not so fast.
The rub of this new job is that I would have to work Tuesdays and Thursdays- Lucas' preschool days. I currently work Tuesdays and my mother-in-law drops off and picks up Lucas from preschool on those days. To take this job, I would have to give up MY day of being involved in his preschool life AND I would have to find someone I trust to pick him up and watch Caden while he is in school. I would be able to take Lucas to preschool. This new team is so determined to have me jump on board that they are willing to let my work day start after I take Lucas to preschool. And Hubby gets home from work around 1pm so the boys would be with Daddy in the afternoons (which is awesome!). But still...
I chose this preschool for Lucas because of how caring in involved the teachers are. The pick up process is very experiential with the parents having to come and stand next to their child and the teachers coming to each mom to tell them something their child did that day. It is great and I would miss it.
Beyond the added stress of finding childcare that day and not being involved in Lucas' preschool life, I feel like this is a mental shift that I was not prepared for. I feel like I am going from a "stay-at-home mom who works one day a week" to a "part-time working mother" which feels WAY different.
I can tell myself I would be doing it for them, for the family. More money to pay off all our debt and be able to do more things as a family. But truthfully, it is really about me. It is MY career and wanting to do this for ME. Which isn't a bad thing. Not at all. But I am really feeling the tug. I am torn. I do want to take this job. I would have a hard time turning it down. And yet, I want to be there for Lucas and be a part of his preschool experience and not miss a minute of his life. He won't be 3 much longer and I have the rest of my life to work.

AHHHHH!!! What should I do?

Honestly, I am leaning towards taking the job. If. If I can find a childcare/preschool pick up solution I am comfortable with. If I don't chicken out. It would mean some stressful weeks for me as I am trained and learning this new specialty. I would have to spend a fair amount of time outside work studying to be at the top of my game. But that's not bad either, right. Some priorities would have to shift. Things would change a little around here if mommy works 2days a week and needs to study when I am home. The good news is, my days/hours are only fixed until the end of the spring. After I am trained, I have been told I can work whatever days and hours I want. I just have to figure out a way to make it work in the meantime.

I know this is a spoiled problem. In this economy, there are people who need work worse than I do. And I know that my children are well-loved and nurtured and cared for- even if I had to put them in daycare or something one day a week. But spoiled or not, this is weighing heavy on my heart. I just want to make the right decision for myself and my boys.

I know God will help me make the right decision. And as we try to put the pieces in place, I am hoping it will become clear whether or not this is the right thing for our family. Your prayers are, as always appreciated. :)

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TwoSquareMeals November 19, 2009 at 7:20 PM  

This is such a hard decision to make, but I don't think either decision is a bad one. You are and will always be a great mama to your boys, and if you have to miss Lucas' preschool time, you will find other ways to be involved with his life. I have no doubt God will guide you to the right decision! I'll be praying for you friend.

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Atwood-Family of 4 November 20, 2009 at 7:29 AM  

It sounds like it would be a good fit-although I know you would be giving up "your" day of preschool-how perfect is it that he's already away from you the days they want you to work-you wouldn't have to miss any extra time w/ him (besides the time after school)-just think if the days they wanted you to work were T and W-then you'd have to be away T, W AND thursday during preschool. I think the days work out great-and as far as hubby being able to be home w/ them and they only need a half day of daycare each day...F it really sounds perfect, I think you should go for it-BUT i totally get the delemia of the working mom, leaving them, etc. especially after having the arrangement you do for so long.

One more thought-Lucas is bright enough to remember what he did the day before and you can still get to have your preschool time w/ him, just the next day. Just my thoughts. Good luck!

Just Me November 20, 2009 at 8:35 AM  

Wow! how exciting! I need to hear more to live vicariously through you!

You could look at it in the sense that- Yes- you'll give up thursday at school but- next year- he'll be in school more anyway.

Lets get coffee/tea soon!

Just Me November 20, 2009 at 8:35 AM  

Wow! how exciting! I need to hear more to live vicariously through you!

You could look at it in the sense that- Yes- you'll give up thursday at school but- next year- he'll be in school more anyway.

Lets get coffee/tea soon!

Melinda November 21, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

I am so not the one to give advice on this, since I waited years to be a SAHM and wouldn't change that unless I was forced too, or my kids were older and in school all day. Best I can say is, pray about it and really try to listen for the Lord's answer. And listen to your mama gut too. I'll be praying about this for you too! Congrats on the offer, too!

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