Psalm Sunday- What is Love?

Disclaimer: I have never claimed this blog to be a place of blind sappiness where I simply blab away about the cuteness of my boys or how great life is. I mean, my boys are certainly ultra-cute and I feel SO blessed to be their mother. But to drip on and on about how swell motherhood is would not be an accurate picture of my reality. So if you are looking for a blog that is happy-shiny-life is all roses and puppies, you might want to move on. That is not my blog, and not this post in particular.

I have been thinking a lot lately about love and what it means to give love to others and receive it for myself. I love my boys, I love my Hubby, I love my family. But the expression of those loves are all very different. And what do I need from people on order to feel loved and appreciated too. I don't have all that figured out, but what I do know is that at this point in my life my "love-needs" are changing and growing.
My need for Hubby's love is not the same now as 10 years ago. When we first started dating, the feelings of love were tingly and exciting. You know what I am talking about. I felt pursued, desired, ... loved. Now, three boys and 10years later, love feels and looks a lot different. I struggle at times to still feel loved. But, what is love really? Is it the spark, the sizzle? Is it Hubby going to work everyday to provide security for me and my boys? Doesn't it need to be a good mix of practical and romantic expressions of love? Again, I am still very much in the midst of trying to figure that all out while keeping proper perspective. But through this process, I feel like God is trying to teach me something bigger about love.
Ultimately, Love is sacrifice. It is putting the needs and desires of another ahead of your own. This past week of being in Florida with my family was somewhat of a sacrifice for me (although I was at the beach so there were definite perks too), but I did it out of love for my boys and for my family. Love is dropping the plans of my day to go to the aid of someone who has needs greater than mine.
I am learning too that I depend too much on Hubby and others to make me feel loved. God loves me. He is my All. Or at least He should be. His Love is always perfect, always exactly what I need at all times. And when I feel like Hubby's love or my family's love or my friends' love for me falls short, God's love will never fail. He is steadfast and faithful and unfailing.

I love the verse in Psalm 36 (vs. 9) that says "in Your light we see light."
In my current funk, I SO need His light to keep my on the right track.

<sup>Oh Lord, be my light and my source of true love. And teach me how to love others truly too.

Psalm 36

1</sup> An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God before his eyes.
² For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.
³ The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful;
he has ceased to be wise and to do good.
⁴ Even on his bed he plots evil; he commits himself to a sinful course
and does not reject what is wrong.
⁵ Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.
¹⁰ Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart.
¹¹ May the foot of the proud not come against me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
¹² See how the evildoers lie fallen— thrown down, not able to rise!


Hungry (Kathryn Scott )

Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry
And so I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is,living for.

Broken I run to You for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
So I'll wait for You
So I'll wait for You

Hungry I come to you, for I know You satisfy




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Time Out

It is sometimes all too easy for me to go about my life and not make God part of my daily routine. I am quick to offer up a quick prayer in rushing about, but when it comes to making God a very real part of my day I often fall short.
I sat in church today as my fellow house church community went around and shared updates on their lives and needs and praises and prayer requests. As I listened, I was overwhelmed with the presence of God. It felt real and tangible and, well, right. God was there, receiving the honor we were giving as we acknowledged our need for Him and what we have already received from Him. What a simple concept, yet one that doesn't always come easy or natural. Sitting there today, I felt refreshed by the presence of God. I wanted to drink it all in and not waste this precious feeling of closeness and communion with God. But in this moment, I was also reflecting on why this doesn't happen for me more often. Why do I not feel this close communion with God all the time? I certainly have moments of despair and questioning but also moments of sheer joy and laughter. God is in all of that with me, yet I do not always focus on Him. I focus on the complexity of the situation or the depth of love I feel for my boys, not recognizing that God is there and wants to be my constant companion in both.
I need a time out. Or more accurately, I need to take time out. Time to stop during the days, during the moments, and acknowledge that God is indeed with me. He is guiding me as a mom, helping me get through my days, strengthening me and upholding me. And you too. I need to take the time to make sure my focus is Him in every moment.
I am not one to over-spiritualize things or life in general. I am practical enough and know myself well-enough to know that the reality of this will look different than the ideal. I am not a nun living in solitude (although that sounds nice from time to time). But, a good start will be to periodically just take a time out and acknowledge God's presence in my day. He is not just present with me on Sundays. He is present with me as I make Lucas waffles or put Caden down for a nap or take the dog potty for the ump-teenth time. He is present when Lucas makes me laugh or when I am so tired I want to cry. And present with you too.

Psalm 90
¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
³ You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
⁴ For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
⁵ You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-
⁶ though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered.
⁷ We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.
⁸ You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ The length of our days is seventy years—or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
¹¹ Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
¹² Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
¹³ Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.
¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and
be glad all our days.
¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
¹⁷ May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands
for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.


excerpt from Moment Made for Worshipping- Steven Curtis Chapman

This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping
.
.
.
.
From the rising of the sun
To the setting the sun
The name of the Lord is worthy to be praised



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Change of Heart

Stop by my house any given Sunday at around 9:45-10am and you are almost guaranteed to see chaos. Hubby and I are dressing boys, trying to get dressed ourselves, feeding people and getting food ready to take to church (our house church always has lunch together after the service), taking the dog out, ... There is always some sort of last minute thing or complication that delays us getting out the door. And hubby hates to be late, especially to church.
Since we do go to a house church, the environment is a bit more casual and laid back during the service. I usually have at least one boy on my lap during church and then after the service we have to deal with the challenge of feeding ourselves and our toddler and getting home before pre-nap meltdown begins or Lucas falls asleep in the car (which is NOT good 'cuz then he won't sleep at home). Sundays are not always a day of rest around here, at least not before 1pm. This level of busy-ness and lack of structure makes it hard for me to concentrate at church. Hard to be worshipful and reflective and intentional. But I realized something today. It is not really about what is going on around me that makes it hard for me to "enter in." Well it is, but that is not the full story.
We were responsible for teaching the kids today. The lesson was on the boyhood of Jesus and we just got the materials last night. So after we got home from a wonderful belated birthday dinner out, hubby and I read over the lesson and planned out what we were going to say and present to the kids.
Then today in church, before going downstairs to teach the kids, I was more "present" for worship than I have been in awhile. Lucas was throwing a tantrum, we had the normal level of crazy this morning, but still my mind felt calm. My heart was still.
Why? I can't say 100%. Probably partly because Hubby and I had some much needed connecting time last night, partly because I got a little extra sleep this morning. Maybe too because I actually took the time to fix my hair and not pull it back in a pony-tail this morning so I felt a little more put-together. But I can't help but think it is also because I read over that lesson last night. And then again this morning and was running over the story in my head, thinking about Jesus in the temple with the priests and what God would have me the kids learn from this story. My heart was a little more focused, a little more centered. And church was great. Even the meal after felt less hurried, less crazy. Lesson learned, hopefully.

Psalm 86
A prayer of David.

1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God;
save your servant who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life— men without regard for you.
15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger,
abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant and save the son of your maidservant.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.


Change my Heart, Oh God (Words and Music by Eddie Espinosa)

Change my heart oh God, make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God, may I be like You.

You are the potter, I am the clay,
mold me and make me, this is what I pray.

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Psalm Sunday- the comeback

Admitedly, I am a slacker... a huge, easily distracted, too-much-on-my-plate slacker mom. My resolve to post a weekly reflection to keep me grounded and give me much needed perspective for the week has certainly been lacking lately. No promises that I will be as consistent as I should, but here's trying...


Today in church we talked about the difference between charity and unselfishness as discussed by C.S. Lewis in the Screwtape Letters. Unselfishness is doing something for others but making it clear that you are doing so at the expense of your own needs or wants or goals. It is still about you and can make the recipient of your unselfish deed feel that they owe you a favor in return. On the other hand, charity is doing something nice for others or giving to someone in need with no regard for your own needs. Helping others is the goal and so there is no need for the recipient to recognize how you sacrificed to help them. Unselfishness says "I'll give to you even though it is not my first choice." But charity says "It is my desire to help you and I feel good when I am able to reach out to those in need."
What a poignant distinction, at least to me. In what spirit do I give to others? Do I want them and others to know my sacrifice or do I give simply to help someone in need without needing any recognition or payback? Is my goal and desire to help or be seen as someone who helps? Am I just unselfish or do I truly exercise the virtue of charity? What about you?

Lord, make Your face shine upon this servant, that I may know and do your will with Your heart and not for any personal gain. Save me in your unfailing love.

Psalm 31

1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols; I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends— those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. (I just love that verse! It is truly my prayer.)
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD, for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.


(No song this week.... I need to get to bed and the Psalm speaks for itself.)

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Generations- Psalm Sunday

We read this Psalm in church today and it struck me as so appropriate for me at this point in my life. I am getting ready to add another son to our family and I spend my days explaining any number of things to Lucas. "Mommy, talk about..." police cars, babies, delivery trucks, trees, car washes, light, stars... you name it, he wants to hear about it. He is a very curious kid and soaks it all in like a sponge. And although we have been reading to him out of a little toddler Bible for awhile, we have just recently begun to tell him bible stories as he is falling asleep instead of or in addition to singing "Jesus songs" (as he calls them). "Mommy, talk about Jonah" or Noah or Zacchaeus or "Jesus feeding all the people." It is my job as his mother to teach him these stories and about all the wondrous things our God has done. And it does my heart good to hear him be able to tell the stories right back to me and even correct me if I leave anything out.

This week's Psalm is on the long side, so I just put in an excerpt. It talks all about how God took care of His people but they did not always appreciate it. They rebelled against Him, they did not put their trust in Him. Yet He still took care of His flock and protected them and met their needs.

God takes care of His people. Even when we don't see it, even when we are afraid, even when we have very low platelets and are nervous about giving birth in 7days.... My response to His faithfulness should be obedience and praise and thanksgiving and to pass on the news of His goodness to my boys. So when they have times when it is hard to blindly trust, they too will be able to stand confident in His faithfulness and walk where He leads. Lord, help me to remember your faithfulness and trust in your goodness. And most of all, to teach my boys to do the same.

Psalm 78
1 O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth.
2 I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old-
3 what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.
5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children,
6 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.
7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.
8 They would not be like their forefathers— a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him.
9 The men of Ephraim, though armed with bows, turned back on the day of battle;
10 they did not keep God's covenant and refused to live by his law.
11 They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them.
12 He did miracles in the sight of their fathers in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan.
13 He divided the sea and led them through; he made the water stand firm like a wall.
14 He guided them with the cloud by day and with light from the fire all night.
15 He split the rocks in the desert and gave them water as abundant as the seas;
16 He brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers.

...

52 But he brought his people out like a flock; he led them like sheep through the desert.
53 He guided them safely, so they were unafraid; but the sea engulfed their enemies.

Shelter (To every Generation) - Bill Batstone

You have been a shelter Lord

To every generation, to every generation

A sanctuary from the storm

To every generation, to every generation, Lord.

Though the mountains fall, Though the earth should shake,

Though the seas should roar with all the heartache.

Though our hearts should pound, Though our throats be dry,

We will lift Your Name on high.

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Joy and Discomfort - Psalm Sunday

This week I chose a psalm that is one of my favorites. It is one that I often turn to when I am in need of some encouragement, a reminder of the hope I have in Him even when I get a bit down about what ever life is throwing my way.

Life these days in very full. Full of both potential joy and potential discomfort. It is days like today that are very real reminders of that for me.
I had a rough night last night. I was beat after selling slings at the French Market yesterday and had pretty intense contractions and a horrible headache all night. It was topped off with a emotional morning for me, just feeling very tired and a bit un-attended to. I seem to have this need to be cared for, especially when I am feeling particularly needy and overwhelmed. Anyway.... Thankfully, Lucas took a good nap after church which meant I could too. We later had a very fun evening at our local county fair showing Lucas all the animals and watching his little face light up as he fed the goats and lambs (pics coming). As I put him down to bed, it was one of those times when I was really drinking in the special-ness of the moment. His little giggle as I made up a special voice for the baby bird who is looking for his mother, his insistance that we say thank you for brother Micah and baby brother (whose name is yet to be announced) during prayers, and his request for one more hug and kiss before I left the room. A day full of both overwhelming joy and discomfort...

So today, I have felt a little like David in this psalm - a bit troubled at times but really just thankful for the hope we have in the Lord and for the ways He blesses and instructs us. My hope truly is in Him, both when the joy and the discomfort come. And almost exactly two weeks from right now, I am scheduled for a heaping dose of both. To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.....


Psalm 25

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!



MY LIFE IS IN YOU LORD

My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it’s in You

I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life
With all of my strength
All of my hope is in You

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Being Capable - Psalm Sunday

At church today, we talked about strongholds - those things that hold us back and keep us from growing or reaching our full potential in Christ. We talked about the story of the lame man and his friends who carried him to see Jesus and lowered him through the roof to get healed and forgiven. He wanted to see Jesus but couldn't get there without the help of his friends to overcome his strongholds. As a couple people were sharing about themselves, it occurred to me that one of my biggest strongholds is this feeling of being capable. All my life I have been told, directly and indirectly, that I am capable of almost anything. If I want it, if I work hard enough, I can accomplish almost anything. While not a horrible message to instill in your kids, I think it has kept me from going to the deeper places of spiritual vulnerability needed for growth. It is sometimes hard for me to let my friends carry me to Jesus, like the lame man's friends did. After all, I am very capable of taking care of myself and getting things done. But with all that has happened in my life the last few years, not the least of which is learning how to parent a 2 yr. old, I think the notion that I am independently capable of most things is diminishing. Few things remind you of your own limitations like trying to convince a reluctant toddler to take a nap or eat his "non-hot dog" dinner. While thinking more about this today, this Psalm came to my mind. Especially verse 2- "My soul will boast in the Lord." Not in my own capabilities. Lord, help me to take my refuge in You and not in my own strength and abilities. Stay near to me, Lord, protect me from evil and teach me to fear You.

Psalm 34

1 I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
2 My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Jesus, I am Resting
Jesus, I am resting, resting, In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, and Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power, thou hast made me whole.

Jesus, I am resting, resting, In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.

O, how great Thy loving kindness, vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness, lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd, know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise, and have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings, meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory, sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting, fill me with Thy grace.

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Fatherly Love- Psalm Sunday

Not a lot of really deep thoughts today. I have just been meditating a bit about the love of fathers and how unique a love that is. I think of my own father and how he has always been this pillar of strength, my best-advocate, someone on which I KNOW I can always lean on. His love is un-losable. He would never turn his back on me and would face any danger or trial to come to my aid if ever I call on him. My father is an amazing man for whom I have nothing but the upmost respect. How much more does my Heavenly Father love me and want to give me all the goodness and riches of His kingdom. The only thing He asks in return is that I fear Him and seek Him and praise Him. So that is this week's Psalm will be- a praise offering to my Father who loves me and is ever deserving of my praise.

Psalm 103

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west, far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Jesus. Lover of My Soul (Darlene Zchech)

Jesus, lover of my soul

Jesus, I will never let You go

You've taken me from the miry clay

You've set my feet upon the rock

And now I know

I love you,

I need you

Though my world may fall I'll never let You go

My Savior, my closest Friend

I will worship you until the very end

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Finding Rest- Psalm Sunday

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. No, I haven't forgotten about my promise to be consistent in posting reflectively on Sundays and making myself accountable to my friends in doing so. The past few weeks have been more than CRAZY here. The wedding was on a Sunday and then we were in Indiana last week with some friends at a beach house with no internet. But now I am home and trying to get back into the swing of life. I am also trying to figure out how to live these next 8weeks of summer very intentionally and not just wish away my last two months with just Lucas before Baby Next arrives.

Although last week was technically vacation, it was not all that restful. Hubby was only able to take Monday off which left me the task of single parenthood at the beach for a week. It was rougher than it sounds. Lucas was sick one night and puked on me at least three times. He slept poorly in the new environment, the weather was less than ideal, the beach was like getting sand-abrasion treatments due to the high winds, and I was simply exhausted by Thursday. We did have one good beach day (luckily the day hubby was there) and some fun at the pool and a cool botanical garden nearby. It was fun being with all our friends and doing something memorable together. It was just not all that restful.

So today, I have been thinking about rest. How do I get it? What is the source from which I can draw when I am depleted and exhausted and yet still required to continue on? It is only my God, my source for rest and peace and grace and mercy. He alone is my strength when my toddler is throwing up or I am having back labor-pains from hovering over his bed and trying to get him to sleep. He is my shield. My rest.

Lord, help me to rely on You for the strength I need to get through each day and draw on You when I am in need of rest.

Psalm 84

1 How lovely are Your dwelling places,O LORD of hosts!

2 My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

3 The bird also has found a house,And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young,Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts,My King and my God.

4 How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!They are ever praising You.

5 How blessed is the man whose strength is in You,In whose heart are the highways to Zion!

6 Passing through the valley of Baca they make it a spring;The early rain also covers it with blessings.

7 They go from strength to strength,Every one of them appears before God in Zion.

8 O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;Give ear, O God of Jacob!

9 Behold our shield, O God,And look upon the face of Your anointed.

10 For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside.I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;The LORD gives grace and glory;No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

12 O LORD of hosts,How blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Better is One Day (Chris Tomlin)

How lovely isYour dwelling place Oh Lord Almighty,

For my soul longs and even faints for You

Oh, here my heart is satisfied

Within Your presence

I see beneath the shadow of Your wings.

Better is one day in Your courts

Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask and I would seek,

To see Your beauty

To find You inThe place Your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out

For You, the Living God

Your Spirit's water to my soul

I've tasted, and I've seen

Come once again to me

I will draw near to You, I will draw near to You.

P.S~ Pics from the beach coming soon.... And I have introduced a new button for my Psalm Sunday thanks to my friend Drea. Thank you so much Drea!!

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Finding Focus- Psalm Sunday

Maybe it is a product of motherhood and maybe it just a product of being me, but I often find myself loosing site of proper perspective on any number of things. This kinda hit me today as I sat in church as many of my friends talked about the awesome night they had all together a couple nights before bowling and singing karaoke. Even though I chose not to go, I still felt jealous that I hadn't been there for their fun time of bonding and hanging out together. I started realizing that I am too motivated by my need to feel accepted or "cool" to others. I do or say certain things because I am concerned about my social standing or what others thing of me. I am awkward at social conversation in the best of circumstances but if I am feeling "out" it is even more uncomfortable. And as I sat in church today, wanting to go home because I felt weird and out of place and uncomfortable, I realized that I had totally lost focus on why it is I go to church. I am there to affirm my relationship with God and grow and worship. It is not about me feeling cool or accepted by people I think are cool. It is about taking time out of my focus-less life to realign my eyes to the source of all the love and acceptance I should need. It is about expressing my gratitude for who He is and all He has done for me and how He walks with me through all of life's "ins and outs." Cool or not, my God loves me and died for me and deserves my praise.

So here is my exercise for this week in regaining proper focus.

Psalm 111

1 Praise the LORD. I will extol the LORD with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly.
2 Great are the works of the LORD; they are pondered by all who delight in them.
3 Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and compassionate.
5 He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever.
6 He has shown his people the power of his works, giving them the lands of other nations.
7 The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.
8 They are steadfast for ever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness.
9 He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever—holy and awesome is his name.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

"Amazing Love" (Hillsong)

I’m forgiven, because you were forsaken
I’m accepted, you were condemned
I’m alive and well, you’re spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it’s true
And it’s my joy to honor you
In all I do, I honor you.

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Psalm Sunday- my first attempt

After such a peaceful, calm day yesterday, today seemed a little out of control. I felt a little overwhelmed this evening. I have these moments when I just get worried that I may not be able to handle a toddler and an infant and a puppy and keep my sanity at the same time. I know lots of women do much more, but I still worry at times. So tonight while hubby was thankfully handling bedtime with my truly crazy 2yr old, I sat to start this post and decided to read one of my favorite Psalms. These verses always remind me to put my fears in His hands and let Him give me rest. Even when I get all overwhelmed and anxious, my God is loving and strong and He is my refuge. I don't know about you, but there is nothing I need more on Mother's Day than a reminder that I cannot do all this in my own strength and that He is my rest when I do have evenings (or mornings or afternoons or ...) like this. May it speak to your soul the way it does to mine.

Psalm 62

1 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down- his leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies.

With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
9 Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong,

12 and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

Enough (Chris Tomlin)

You are my supply

My breath of life

Still more awesome than I know

You are my reward

Worth living for

Still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for

All of me for every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough

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