Winter Wonderland- Wordful Wednesday

Although we have had a few flurries already, tonight was the first real snowstorm of the season. It started over night and we awoke to an inch or so of snow on the ground this morning. It snowed lightly off and on all day but really started to pick up this evening. I was driving home from work and was struke by the absolute beauty of the snow. The flakes were ginormous, easily the size of quarter.
If you know me, you know I am a Florida girl through-and-through. I wear flip flops as long as possible (I wore them yesterday) and could easily be convinced to join a cult that involved beach-worship. But on nights like tonight, I appreciate the beauty of this snowstorm. The white, fluffy snow falling is so serene. Of course, I didn't have to drive in it very far. :)
I can't wait to get my boys out in this snow tomorrow. Let the winter fun begin!!





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What I am Thankful For- Wordful Wednesday

My Savior- His grace and mercy and extravagant love

My Hubby and our 10+yrs. together and all they have brought our way. Really, all of it. Even the things that I wished would have been different, it is all part of God's plan for us and I am trusting Him to use it ALL for His glory and our greater good.

My boys, Micah (above) and Lucas and Caden (below)- words are truly not adequate to express how much they are my world.
My family- my parents and sister (above) and my in-laws (below)

The beach and my Gators- two of my passions and things that make me who I am. The beach is where I feel the most like me. I feel connected to my inner self there. On the beach, I am whole.

I am also thankful for my amazing friends and my job and my church family (I just don't have pictures of these things).
I am thankful for the blessed life that I have. Even the moments when I feel knocked down, like the wind has been taken out of my sails, I am still so very lucky and blessed to have a family that loves me and all my basic needs met.
I am kinda at a crossroads in my life. I am done having babies (99% sure), getting close to weaning Caden, taking a new job,... I am figuring out what my life post-grief/post-child-bearing will look like. I am figuring out who I am in this stage of raising my boys and focusing a little more on me and trying to enjoy every minute. And in this moment, I feel SO VERY thankful.

I pray all of you have a very blessed Thanksgiving, full of love and gratitude.

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How Little Boys Play Candyland

Lucas is just recently getting into playing games. He has always loved puzzles and books and, of course, his cars and trains. But he is starting to love board games like Hi-Ho Cherry-O and Candyland and Rummikub. This past weekend, I came into the living room to find him playing Candyland by himself with his army men as the pieces. He wasn't so much playing the game as he was using the board as a battlefield and a stage for his VERY active imagination. Some of the men were camped out in the chocolate swamp waiting to attack the battalion that was moving out of peppermint forest. But to make it even funnier, he was using the jack hammer from a Bob the Builder game as a machine gun and was knocking all the men over with it. When I asked him what was going on, he said "These men are trying to save Queen Snowflake from the evil witch (Mrs. Peanut Brittle) but the witch's men are hiding in the chocolate lake having a snack so they'll have more energy to fight. That is why I have to knock them over with the jack hammer. They are stuck and can't move 'cuz the chocolate is sticky and they ate so much their bellies are too full. So the good guys are gonna come and shoot them with their candy canes." Makes sense, right?!
Candyland... little boy style!

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From Baby to Boy

One week from today, my baby becomes a little less baby and a little more little boy.
He is walking and starting to talk. He has this hilarious little fake laugh he does when he knows something is funny and wants attention. There are also the mini-tantrums when he doesn't get his way or when I won't let him take food out of the refrigerator or the pantry or the dog bowl or his brother's hands. He is stubborn and opinionated and most often hungry.

And yet, if he is crying in his bed, he quiets when he hears my footsteps on the stairs. I pick him up and his little head just melts into my shoulder. He signs for "nursies" and then starts to giggle when he lays back in my lap, knowing that he is getting what he asked for. He is not a great sleeper, still waking several times a night. But if he is snuggled close to Mama, he could sleep for hours and hours. I stand in the dark with his body collapsed on my chest, swaying in the silence. He is back asleep, has been for a few minutes now. I could lay him back down but instead I lay my cheek against his sweet head, drinking in this moment while I can. While he is still my little baby.

There is nothing magical about the day itself. There is not a dramatic shift from baby to pre-toddler at the moment he turns 1. But there is something momentous about the day, something worth celebrating and reflecting upon. And I plan to do both.

He may be walking and talking and developing a very strong sense of toddler-entitlement. But he is still my baby.

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Budding Friendship

While I am not super excited about my baby getting so big (ok- maybe I am a little excited about the perks of that), I am thrilled to see my boys starting to play so well together. We still have what we call "over zealous affection" from Lucas to his little brother, but I love seeing how they simply adore each other. The other day we broke out the baby pool and the two of them just played together. I mean, they entertained each other for a good 10-15min. while mommy sat in the grass near by and watching, my heart bursting with pride and love for my boys! It was precious to watch. That is until Lucas got a little over zealous and splashed Caden in the face, bringing tears of drama from the little brother. It is a start though, and makes me smile. Who doesn't smile when they see those cute faces?! :)

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Fish Face- Wordful Wednesday

A few weeks ago, the boys and I visited my family in Ft. Lauderdale for my sister's law school graduation (hooray!!). While there, we visited the Miami Seaquarium. Lucas got to feed the sea lions and see the dolphins and sharks and whales. But one of the things he still talks about is this ginormous fish we saw. It is a grouper and they really do get that big in their natural environment. I love these pictures because Lucas is trying to kiss the fish (above) and then is making almost the exact same face as the fish (below). Plus I love the personality of my little man that comes shining through in these shots. He is such a cool kid. I know all parents say that. But really, he is so great!! Just look at that face! :)


P.S.~ Kinda a random post for wordful wednesday but great pictures none-the-less. We were out of town for the weekend and I have been up to my eyeballs in sewing and other things. I am really trying to keep my priorities in check these days and put my boys and my sleep higher on the list of important tasks for the day. For now, this means a little less blogging at times. I am not going away, just slowing down a bit. At least until I figure out the right balance and flow for my weeks. :)


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Quiet Strength- Wordful Wednesday

This is not my grandmother. Both mine are with Jesus. I am actually not related to this lady at all. She is a very close friend of my husband's family and one of the coolest people I have ever known. She is 89 and still single but has had the richest of lives. She graduated from my alma mater (Wheaton College) in 1942. She started a nursing school in South Africa where she lived for years. She co-founded a nation-wide club for kids that encourages bible learning and teaching the next generation how to follow in Christ's footsteps. She is open-minded, inspiring, stays up to date on the happenings of the world, in amazing health. She speaks with the voice of experience and wisdom that makes me want to sit and listen. And that is just what I do. Anytime I am near her, I just want to sit. She has a quiet strength. She is not pushy or attention-seeking. She is confident in who God created her to be and the plan He has for her life. Even now, she weekly tutors immigrants in English and pours herself into the lives of others because that is what she knows God wants her to do at this moment.
Her strength very clearly comes from a source outside her. She doesn't pretend to know it all or be able to do it all. And yet, she knows so much and has touched so many lives. Including mine. I think she is just amazing.

I spend so much of my life trying to order things and figure out how to make my life fit or make sense. What should I do to give my life purpose, meaning, worth? How can I make my mark on the world and be seen as successful and important? It only takes 2minutes of talking with Louise to make all of that seem so temporary. She tells me my boys are beautiful, all 3. She tells me how great it is that God has given me the skills and knowledge to work as a nurse and help people in that way. She tells me I am strong to have lived through what I have and that my life is such a witness of God's grace and love.

Yes. Thank you, Louise. Thank you for your example of the quiet strength that God gives. Thank you for helping me see things in proper perspective. Thank you for giving your life in service to God and inspiring me to see my life as the same.
I don't get my worth from external things. My boys are the most important way I will leave my mark on this world. I get my worth from being a child of the King and no where else.

She is so strong and makes me feel strong.

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Boys and Tupperware

Look how different my boys look!! At least to me...

Caden 10 monthsLucas 10 months

Some things never change....

Lucas 11 months

Lucas 3years

Brotherly instruction....

"Here Caden, let a pro teach you how it is done."

I think he's getting the hang of it. :)

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Sweet Dreams

While we have been in Florida, Caden and I have been sleeping on a queen air mattress and Lucas has been on a twin air mattress right next to us. I have been putting them down at the same time, in the same room but on their different beds. Tonight, I came in to check on them and this is what I found. Lucas had crawled up onto the queen mattress and fell asleep holding Caden's hand. He really does love his brother, even if he knocks him over and pushes him out of the way about 20million times during the day. This bodes well for days to come - both their love for each other and the fact that they have been sleeping in the same room! :)

Oh, how I love these boys! My mommy-heart is bursting about now.

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His name in the sand

I recently ran across this blog of a family whose son was stillborn a couple years ago. Since then, they have been giving other parents who have lost children an amazing gift. They live about 15minutes away from the beach in Australia and they go down at sunset and write your child's name in the sand. They take a picture and post it on their blog. I sent them Micah's name last week, hoping it would be posted during these days of intentional remembrance. It posted today!! What an amazing little gift God gave me!
I hope this family knows what a powerful ministry this is to moms like me. To see Micah's name in the sand, written by a woman half-a-world away whom I have bever met, is surreal but validating. He DID exist besides in my own head!! It gives his little life added significance and honors his memory.
I couldn't look at it for very long at first. But later, when I had a quiet moment, I just sat and stared at it and let the tears flow unhindered. The beach has always been a place of rest and relaxation and therapy for me. And to see Micah's name written there with this gorgeous sunset in the background is healing for me in some strange way.

I have so many pictures of Micah in my mind. The visual images are still so fresh and raw. I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't want the day to come when I can't visually remember holding him and seeing his blue eyes and golden hair. This picture is now just one more image that I don't want to forget.
Should I make a print and frame it? Is that lame? Am I the only one who can't stop staring at it?

He is my son. He is in heaven with the Maker of this beach, this sunset. His name is written in the sand. And he, like this picture, is beautiful!!

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The Mind of My Child

I love seeing his little mind at work- the thoughts he has, the ideas he chooses to take action on. I love watching the creativity in his brain take shapes in his play and the art he creates. This proud mama can't help but share some recent masterpieces.

Lucas drew this today on his whiteboard. It is "a tree with some apples for the birds to eat and a nest so they can lay down once their bellies are full." To the left of the tree is a "house for mommies and little boys to sit in and watch the birds through the windows 'cuz they can't be outside yet. It is still too cold. Spring is almost here, Mommy, but not yet." (So true, little man!) A masterpiece, don't you agree?!

Yet another creative work in progress, Lucas took all the Little People and the animals from his ark and made chairs out of his blocks. Somedays it is beds. But today, they "wanted to sit up and just have quiet time but not nap." Hmmmm.....


A few days ago he built this rocketship with the Duplos. Then he carefully placed his army men all around it so they could go to the moon. Very impressive!

I love the mind of my child!!

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Cake, Cake, and more Cake

About a month before his birthday, Lucas announced to me that he needed three cakes because he was turning three. A dangerous tradition to start, but I indulged him this year. While we were in Florida with my parents, I made a fire engine and a police car and an ambulance (per his request).



Then, for our family birthday celebration he told me he wanted a "mountain that is on fire, with strawberries, and the firemen are coming to put out the fire." Lucky for me, he agreed to have a house on fire instead of the mountain.


Notice the gummie bear waiting to be rescued out the window. :) With last year's dino cake as my first attempt, I was pretty pleased with this year. Lucas is forcing me to step up my game a bit. Of course, for his actual birthday party he just wanted some chocolate cupcakes. I can handle that. :)

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Lucky Number Seven

My baby is seven months old today!! And becoming less and less "baby" by the day. He is starting to crawl and pull up and demand his way. How did that happen?! And although I am by NO means wishing the days away (this is probably my last baby so I want the cherish each moment and each stage), I am hoping that month seven will be the lucky one. Lucky... as in, the month we learn to fall asleep without nursing, sleep through most of the night, be content away from mom for more than 5min... You get the idea. :) I do LOVE the cuddles and tender moments. I love that he tries to chew on my cheeks and my chin and pulls me close to him as if he never wants us to part. I may want a few moments to myself, but mostly the feeling is mutual! I don't want the spirit of these days to end. I am cherishing these moments where Caden is never happier than cuddled up with Mama. I know this won't last forever.

So, my little CLB, my "chubber-chubs," "muncher-munch," "little monkey"... I LOVE YOU! I will sacrifice time alone to have you close anyday! I am one lucky mom!

Day 2- Aug '08

1 month- Sept. '08

2 months- Oct. '08

3 months- Nov. '08

4 months- Dec. '08

5 months- Jan. '09

6 months- Feb. '09

7 months- Mar. '09and one to grow on... (isn't he just so stinkin' cute!!)

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