>> Friday, April 30, 2010
Caden will be two in August. It hardly seems possible that that could be true. It seems like we just had his 1st birthday party where a friend's son pulled the fire alarm and we had the greatest ending to a toddler birthday party ever with firetrucks and firefighters all around. And even closer seems last fall when Hubby and I escaped for a few days to see my beloved Gators and spend a few days on the beach for our 10th wedding anniversary. I was so worried that my time away back then would be the end of nursing for Caden. But to my delight, my milk supply seemed to keep up and he just picked right back up without skipping a beat.
Well, now I find myself in a different spot. He has no intention of being done with his "dursies" and mommy is pretty much ready to be done. He would nurse several times a day if I let him. He definitely nurses when he first wakes up (which is around 5am-Yuck!!) and before his nap if I put him down at home and then before bed. The thing is, he doesn't really fall asleep nursing anymore. He sits there, latched on, just kinda sitting there. He gets mad when I pull him off and cries "Other side, mama, PEAS!!!!" I am not even sure he is getting much more than a trickle of milk except in the morning when there is more there. And when he wants "dursies" in the morning, I can tell that he is legitimately hungry or thirsty since he is going thorough that toddler "I won't eat dinner" phase. The other complicating factor is that he won't drink milk. Not even almond milk. He spits it out. So does he still need whatever milk is there to get the fat for his brain development and all the wonderful other stuff he gets from breastmilk?
So now the dilemma becomes this... is it time to stop? I want to stop, I am ready to stop. But he doesn't seem to be. And I don't want weaning to be a traumatic thing for either of us. I am very much in favor of child-led weaning. Except that I am not sure it would ever be his idea to stop. It was such a natural process for Lucas and it was around this age, just shy of two. I know pro-nursing moms who have already stopped by this age and I know lots of moms who have nursed far past Caden's age.
He is my last baby, Lord- willing. And I don't want him to grow up too fast. But the other issue is that I have been having a little health issue with lots of joint pain and extreme fatigue and some possible auto-immune involvement. I am trying to de-stress and de-clutter my life even more to see if I can get a handle on this joint stuff before trying more pharmacological routes. And this whole nursing issue with Caden is stressing me out both physically and
Just writing this all out, it seems as if I have my answer. It is time to wean. But then you add in the emotional component and I am again not sure. Do I hold on a bit longer since the final nursing with Caden will probably be the final forever? Do I let him be the baby a little longer and give him his "dursies" which do seem to comfort him even if they are not filling his belly?
I am pretty sure I want to be done by the time he turns 2. But maybe sooner.... I just don't know.
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