Finding My Center

>> Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I don't go to yoga as often as I would like to, but when I do go I always have such a powerful experience. I am not so much into the meditation side of it, the funky breathing and all that. I mostly go for the exercise and core strengthening. But I do really benefit from the focus and calm that it seems to bring to my body and mind and soul.
Tonight I did get to sneak away to yoga and left Hubby to deal with bedtime solo. It was a very full day with lots of fun things so I was glad to have some time to chill out and focus on me. As yoga started tonight, the instructor was talking about how there is different ways to practice yoga and tonight her approach was going to be to help us improve our flow from one pose to the next. The goal is to be able to move your body and hold the different poses while keeping your mind and soul focused on your center. It's like, your body is moving but your mind stays focused, not being distracted by surroundings or what the body is doing. This got me thinking...

So much of my life, especially this time of year, just seems to fly by. I want my life, my boys' lives, to be full of enriching and memorable experiences. We float around, from one thing to the next, trying not to lose focus of what is really true and real. But inevitably, I get distracted by this or that and get frustrated that I am behind in just about everything and that I am not getting to the things I really want to do or being the mother/wife/daughter/sister/friend/nurse/blogger/etc... that I really want to be. I get caught up in the things of life that I lose my focus and ultimately I lose my joy.

We are in Advent, a time to reflect and be still. But yet this time of year is SO busy, even more so than other times. I don't necessarily want to give up all the things that make life busy (well, maybe some of them). I just want to learn how to let my body move from place to place, thing to thing, commitment to commitment all while keeping my mind focused and still. Is that possible? Is it possible for me? It might be a cliche' phrase, but I really do need to find my center. I mean, I know the right answer is that God is my center. But learning to keep my mind and heart focused on Him while I am breaking up fights over Batman toys and driving to preschool and shopping for Christmas gifts and figuring out what my family should eat and making travel plans and maintaining blogs/relationships/commitments..... WAY easier said than done. I think my first step is to try to keep my mind quiet while my body is racing around. To not get lost in my anxious thoughts or over-planning or guilty self-accusations. Just to stay in the present and quiet my mind. I am not sure exactly how to do that, but I am going to try. If I can do it, even just a little, I feel pretty sure it will give me back my joy and a much needed sense of "Maybe I am actually not doing too bad at this motherhood thing."

Tonight's yoga was fabulous. It wasn't as much of a physical work-out as I usually like. I love being sore the next day. But I don't think I'll be sore tomorrow. Tonight's yoga was smooth, and calming. I really did feel that I could move from one pose to the next without focusing too much on my body and keeping my mind some-what still. But it took some intentionality and I think the same goes for my real life too.

I am going to use this Advent season to teach myself (and let God teach me) how to flow from one busy minute to the next without getting distracted by life around me. Life is going to be busy. There is not much I can (or want to) do about that. But something has to give so I am finding my center, I hope, and then I want to stay there.

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