My Little Light-Giver

>> Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Today, my baby is four years old. Every day, he surprises me with the depth of his tender, loving heart and his curiosity for all around him. I feel incapable of putting into words how I feel about this little boy. He is my heart on the outside. I just simply adore him, and not just because I am his mother and I have to. I truly think he is one of the greatest kids on the planet.
His name means "Giver of Light" and that is exactly what he is. To hear his joyous cry at the culmination of a pregnancy filled with anxiety and fear was indeed like light shining in a dark room and causing the darkness to scatter. He brought light to my soul and continues to do so everyday.

Lucas, if you ever read this one day, I just want you to know how deeply, deeply I love you. I love how from the moment you could talk, you have been asking questions and wanting to know everything about your world. "Mommy, talk about mud. Talk about trees. Talk about...." I love watching you learn to read and how you have always been so good at puzzles. God has blessed you with a love and an aptitude for knowledge. You are constantly learning and growing and it is a gift to help you in that journey.
I love your tender heart that feels everything from elation to frustration so intensely. You wear your emotion on your sleeve, both the good and the bad. Any amount of frustration or anger I feel really does melt away when you throw your arms around me and tell me you love me. I would chose to spend time with you and your brother over anyone in this entire world.
Lucas Robert, you bring so much light to me and all who know you. Never lose that spark that sets you apart. You may not be good at everything. You will fail at some things. People will disappoint you and you will do the same to others. I will disappoint you too and fall short at times of the mother you need me to be. But no matter what, you are a precious child of God who is destined for great things. And I commit to you and the One to whom you ultimately belong, that I will seek Him and pray for you and ask for forgiveness when I fall short.
Lucas, my little bringer of light, you are deeply loved! Happy Birthday!


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