Grateful
>> Friday, July 1, 2011
This was last year on the Fourth. My parents came in for the weekend, I ran a 5K with my dad, we did the Wheaton parade and the Glen Ellyn Fireworks. It was a fabulous weekend. Look how young those two little boys look!!! I can hardly believe that was just a year ago.
I took both boys for annual check-ups today- they are getting so big so fast! After their appointments, I took them both out to lunch (at Steak and Shake- Lucas' request). Lucas was being a little dramatic about his shots, Caden was tired and clingy. But it was one of those rare moments where I could step out of the moment and see it for the precious snapshot it was. Or maybe it was staying right there in the moment and not thinking ahead to naptime or wine-time or the events of the holiday weekend.
These two boys- these precious, precious boys- they try my patience for sure. Even tonight at bedtime, I was ready to be done for the day and was losing my steam. But I just think about Caden's sweet hugs and kisses at lunch and Lucas asking me to snuggle him during our family movie night tonight. I am a lucky, lucky mommy. I hope I am doing right by them. I pray to God daily to use me as a vessel to bless and shape them as He would see fit in spite of my VERY flawed shell. No matter what else is complicated in my life, I have these two precious souls that God has blessed me with and a Hubby who loves me. And I am grateful for this. SO very, very grateful. 
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3 comments:
Try a 10k this year, you are blessed, you have truly won the lottery!
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I bet motherhood is the most terrifying job in the world. You said "I hope I am doing right by them..." I think I have a quick answer for you -- No worries,sweet sister of mine, you are doing right by them every day, no how much you think you are flawed. You said that you "pray to God daily to use me as a vessel"... and I promise you that this is not just doing right by your boys, its really the ONLY way to accomplish that, in my opinion. Without God in the drivers seat, we are left to navigate life on our own, which in my own experience, is disaster. When you ask God to use you as a vessel for your boys, you are telling God you trust him, period. God loves that type of surrender; without it, along comes all the worry, anxiety,insecurity and fear (basically its us telling God He's not mighty enough to be in control).
People love to quote the Bible saying "God makes all things good." But, as great as that sounds, that's only have the deal. The important part of that scripture is the second part which is usually left out. Yes, God makes all things work together for good, but its "for those who LOVE HIM and who are CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. When you pray and ask God to use you in the way He sees fit, you are showing God how much you love Him, and that you are committed to His call on your life. So, based on that promise, I KNOW you are doing right by your boys -- so rest easy, it's "all good". Love you!
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