Cool contests

Steph at Adventures in Babywearing is giving away 4 copies of the Tummy-2-Tummy Babywearing DVD for those of you who may be interested. I have the DVD and I am now offering it as a companion to the slings I sell because it is such a great resource in learning how to wear your baby. Click on over and read her review and sign up to win it yourself.

Also, Amy over at crunchy domestic goddess is having a contest where she is giving away one of her cute halloween shirts for your lil' pumpkin. I already got one for Lucas but another could never hurt. :) Click here to enter yourself.



10/1: P.S.~ I have amended this post to include a contest by my bestest friend Catherine. She is giving away a very cool children's book. Check it out!!

Read more...

Oh be careful little mouth what you speak

Perfect example of why you have to watch what you say around toddlers... at least mine...

Lucas picks up his puppy stuffed animal.
Hi Puppy! Woof, Woof. Woof, Woof.

I say: That's so nice, Lucas. Are you playing with your puppy?

Hi Puppy! Hush, Puppy hush. Shhhhhh!! Puppy shhhhh!!!

I guess I'm lucky that's all he repeated of my frequent interactions with the dog. I was worried he was gonna think the dog's name was "d***it Hadley"! I better watch my tongue...

Read more...

Unconditional love

There are few relationships in life where you can honestly say you are loved unconditionally. No matter what you do, who you are, what you say, what you eat, what you like... you will be loved not in spite of but BECAUSE of those things. Watching my parents interact with Lucas is such a perfect picture of such love.
I watch him play with Pa. He LOVES his Pa. Pa takes him on walks to watch the school buses because he knows that Lucas is enthralled with buses and dump trucks and tractors. Pa chases him around the living room and the back yard while Lucas just squeals with delight.
I watch as Meme reads him a story for the millionth time or runs after the ball in the backyard all in the name of soaking up as much time with her grandson as possible. They LOVE him, and he LOVES them. He says their names no less than 30 times a day. We have to go look at pictures on the computer to satisfy his little heart when they aren't here in person.
We just dropped them off at the airport after a wonderful fall-ish Chicago weekend and I am overwhelmingly emotional. Watching them say good buy to him knowing how much he will ask for them in the coming days and how much they will miss being able to wake up at 6am to play with him all day until he goes to bed at 7 that night, I can't help but cry tears of longing for it to be different.
How can I deprive the three of them of time together? My husband loves his job and is thriving there. So moving is not an option at this point. Plus, most of our closest friends live here. We do not have the disposable income to fly down there all the time. My parents have made it a priority to see him and so we do get down there every couple months which is pretty good. We are doing the best we can (sorry Ash!). But it just seems so unfortunate that he will not get to be with them more consistently and experience the kind of love that they give so deeply and freely to him. It is different than anything else, including my love for him and his dad's love for him. I guess I just wish they were closer, a day trip away.
It is more than Lucas missing his Pa and Meme that has me emotional. I just don't want them to go. When my parents are here, I feel loved deeper than at any other time. My mom, whatever faults she may have, genuinely wants to take any burden off me that she can and for that I thank her. She helps me feed everyone and clean up and get projects done and get myself organized and make sure I am taking care of myself. My dad fixed the rocking chair in the nursery that has been falling apart for months and took Lucas at 6am so I could go back to bed (three mornings in a row!!). I feel cared for and appreciated and genuinely loved, unconditionally. It is hard for others to love that way. Life and so much else gets in the way. With my parents, I feel comfortable knowing that they LOVE Lucas and want to nurture him but they also LOVE me and want to nurture me. That is rare in my life. I know that God loves me deeper than any human love. But there are times when you just need someone to go to Jewel and to fix your chair, to laugh with you as your son-induced black eye starts to heal and cry with you if that is what you need more than laughing.

My dad told me once, just after Lucas had begun to crawl and was requiring constant wrangling, that being a Grandpa had made him understand better how God is with us. He said that he finds himself following Lucas around, watching him explore his world and learning new things at the speed of light. He lets Lucas crawl into the tupperware cupboard so he can experience it himself but all the while he has his hands covering the sharp edges so Lucas can't get hurt. Even now, he lets Lucas go to the edge of the riverbank but with his arm around his waist so that he cannot fall in. That must be how God is with us. He lets us live life so that we can experience it for ourselves but He keeps his hand over the sharp edges and His arm around our waist. I am grateful that my parents LOVE Lucas in this way and that God LOVES Lucas in this way and that God LOVES me in this way. Thank you Lord for unconditional love, no matter where it comes from.

Read more...

How his little mind works

This morning I watched Lucas as he rearranged the blocks for about 15min. until they were just as he wanted them. He would take a small one off the top to make room for a larger block then put the small one back on. It was so fun to watch his little brain trying to figure out how those blocks should all go together. I wondered did he have something in his mind he was trying to create or was he just putting them together. Once he got them arranged just so, he started moving them across the floor saying "choo-choo." He had in his mind how best to make the blocks be a train and he didn't stop until they looked just right. What a smart little guy!! Then later in the morning, he saw his reflection in the oven and looked perplexed. "Who is that?" I asked him. He paused, then pointed to his reflection and said "YOU." If you ask him his name, he says "me." But when he sees his reflection he says "you." He is such a little sponge, spitting back the things he hears and sees. I love to see how he is processing the world around him and learning to interact. Sometimes his cuteness overwhelms me! :)

Read more...

Becoming a better me

This post has been circling in my head for a few weeks. I got canceled at work today but I let my mother-in-law take my son anyway so I could have some time to get things done, including work through these thoughts in my head. You know how life gets so busy at times that you don't even have time to know your own thoughts. That is where I am. So again I find myself using this blog to help me process...

I got a speeding ticket a few months ago and had to complete the online driving school. That got me thinking that there are lots of areas of my life where I need to be more intentional, take things slow, don't rush.
Lately I have been feeling like life up to this point has been a series of short-term decisions. Sure, a couple of those decisions had long-term effects like what career should I have, who should I marry, should I have children... But I don't think that when I made the decision to be a nurse or to marry Marcus or to have children that I realized what that would really look like in the long-term. I feel like I have sort-of been coasting through life, making the next decision that is up on deck but not really being intentional about life and my impact on others and the world and my own mental well-being. Before I had Lucas, I asked some friends who I respect as parents if they had been intentional about... and before I could finish my sentence, they said "no." They said it was really hard to be intentional as parents, that so much of the time you are just dealing with what is in the now and don't have much time for planning for what comes next. That is exactly what my life has been to this point... so focused on getting through the now that I lose focus on planning for the next.

I have all these ideals for myself and for my family. I should do more to protect the environment, I should always have healthy organic meals for my boys, I should have time to exercise and be able to drop that pesky final 10lbs. My marriage should be romantic and intimate. I should do creative activities with my son regularly, teaching him and shaping him. Instead, I end up feeding them whatever can be put together in the time I have and I still have those 10lbs. I am not as intentional in my marriage and with my son as I should be. I have an unfortunate lack of self-control which makes this even harder for me. For example, my husband is a saver and I am a spender which gets me into trouble more often than it should for a 30yr. old. If I drive past Wendy's and feel like a Frosty then it is hard for me to not turn in (that's probably why I still have that pesky 10lbs.) I signed up for a women's bible study to help me be more intentional spiritually and I ended up doing all five daily entries in one night. I get frustrated with myself for not being more like I want myself to be. I want to become a better me.

I want to take the time to plan intentional, healthy meals. Marcus and I need to schedule some "date nights" that may only consist of sitting in a quiet room together once the dog and Lucas are asleep so we can talk and reconnect. I am trying to use fabric grocery bags (that's a good first step to being more "green" I hope). How to take some of these things from the "I want to" and "I should" to "I am " and "we are" is the challenge for me. Getting it out is a helpful step. It feels a little vulnerable to admit so publicly that I fall short in so many areas. It feels scary to take down the curtain and let people see that even if there is sometimes the appearance of order, I am usually just trying to keep up.

I want to stop "just keeping up" and start living as the better me that I want to be. I can think of so many things that I would like to be part of the better me, it can be a little overwhelming. I guess I'll start by driving slower and not turning into Wendy's next time the Frosty craving hits. Maybe those will be the first steps on this journey to the better, more intentional me.

Read more...

Those moments that are gifts

Lucas fell asleep on my back during our a.m. walk with Hadley this morning. He hasn't done that in so long. He is such busy little guy that he rarely pauses to rest especially when there are things to see and ask "What's that?" Not even the distant sounds of garbage trucks (or to him "dump trucks") kept him awake. It was a little gift to me from God... in the midst of this crazy week that has included me getting a black eye from a projectile block (I'll give you one guess as to who threw it) and the diaper rash that won't quit, I have my son even as I type this sleeping on my back and life seems peaceful and in sync. I wish I had a camera, well I have a camera but no one to take the picture. This is one of the moments of motherhood that make any black eye seem trivial. Thank you God for this moment. Help me cherish it.

Read more...

Even dinosaurs need some cuddle time

This morning Lucas was carrying his little dinosaur all over the house. He feed the dinosaur part of this breakfast and pretended to read the dinosaur a story. SO CUTE!! Then he went and picked up his sling and brought both the sling and the dinosaur to me and said "ing, ing." I guess even dinosaurs need snuggling and nurturing. :)

Read more...