Unconditional love

>> Tuesday, September 25, 2007


There are few relationships in life where you can honestly say you are loved unconditionally. No matter what you do, who you are, what you say, what you eat, what you like... you will be loved not in spite of but BECAUSE of those things. Watching my parents interact with Lucas is such a perfect picture of such love.
I watch him play with Pa. He LOVES his Pa. Pa takes him on walks to watch the school buses because he knows that Lucas is enthralled with buses and dump trucks and tractors. Pa chases him around the living room and the back yard while Lucas just squeals with delight.
I watch as Meme reads him a story for the millionth time or runs after the ball in the backyard all in the name of soaking up as much time with her grandson as possible. They LOVE him, and he LOVES them. He says their names no less than 30 times a day. We have to go look at pictures on the computer to satisfy his little heart when they aren't here in person.
We just dropped them off at the airport after a wonderful fall-ish Chicago weekend and I am overwhelmingly emotional. Watching them say good buy to him knowing how much he will ask for them in the coming days and how much they will miss being able to wake up at 6am to play with him all day until he goes to bed at 7 that night, I can't help but cry tears of longing for it to be different.
How can I deprive the three of them of time together? My husband loves his job and is thriving there. So moving is not an option at this point. Plus, most of our closest friends live here. We do not have the disposable income to fly down there all the time. My parents have made it a priority to see him and so we do get down there every couple months which is pretty good. We are doing the best we can (sorry Ash!). But it just seems so unfortunate that he will not get to be with them more consistently and experience the kind of love that they give so deeply and freely to him. It is different than anything else, including my love for him and his dad's love for him. I guess I just wish they were closer, a day trip away.
It is more than Lucas missing his Pa and Meme that has me emotional. I just don't want them to go. When my parents are here, I feel loved deeper than at any other time. My mom, whatever faults she may have, genuinely wants to take any burden off me that she can and for that I thank her. She helps me feed everyone and clean up and get projects done and get myself organized and make sure I am taking care of myself. My dad fixed the rocking chair in the nursery that has been falling apart for months and took Lucas at 6am so I could go back to bed (three mornings in a row!!). I feel cared for and appreciated and genuinely loved, unconditionally. It is hard for others to love that way. Life and so much else gets in the way. With my parents, I feel comfortable knowing that they LOVE Lucas and want to nurture him but they also LOVE me and want to nurture me. That is rare in my life. I know that God loves me deeper than any human love. But there are times when you just need someone to go to Jewel and to fix your chair, to laugh with you as your son-induced black eye starts to heal and cry with you if that is what you need more than laughing.

My dad told me once, just after Lucas had begun to crawl and was requiring constant wrangling, that being a Grandpa had made him understand better how God is with us. He said that he finds himself following Lucas around, watching him explore his world and learning new things at the speed of light. He lets Lucas crawl into the tupperware cupboard so he can experience it himself but all the while he has his hands covering the sharp edges so Lucas can't get hurt. Even now, he lets Lucas go to the edge of the riverbank but with his arm around his waist so that he cannot fall in. That must be how God is with us. He lets us live life so that we can experience it for ourselves but He keeps his hand over the sharp edges and His arm around our waist. I am grateful that my parents LOVE Lucas in this way and that God LOVES Lucas in this way and that God LOVES me in this way. Thank you Lord for unconditional love, no matter where it comes from.

1 comments:

Earthmommy October 3, 2007 at 12:27 PM  

This was a wonderful post!

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