When it rains, it pours

>> Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life can be so overwhelming... I am in the midst of a funk... too much circling my mind...

I had my final Wheaton French Market of the season yesterday and it did not go as I had hoped. Most of my other Markets have been such a huge success. Lots of slings sold and lots of opportunities to meet local moms and share with them the awesome-ness of babywearing. Yesterday was no such day. I sold a few and meet a couple moms, but the Market was comparatively dead and I came home totally bummed. All that work for so little gain. I have already been feeling kinda stuck in this little business venture lately so having an off day didn't help matters any. I don't know how to make it take off. Do I learn to be content with what it is or do I need to find ways to build and find the time to do it?

On top of that, my son is sick...again. He had pneumonia on his first birthday last March and since then every little virus or bug or if the wind blows the wrong way brings us to the point of coughing and vomiting and nebulizers and then diarrhea and HORRIBLE diaper rash that doesn't respond to ANYTHING. It is almost more than I can take at times. Everyone has an opinion. Pediatrician: "Kids get colds. Use this cream." Chiropractor who had a table next to mine at the Market: "It's because he was immunized. Your home probably has mold. He needs extensive chiropractic adjustments probably not covered by insurance." Any number of people: "He has allergies. He has...." You get the point. I think there are shreds of truth in everyone's opinion but how do I sort it all and make sense enough to do what is right for my son? He is getting better now. But how long until we are here again, asking the same questions and crying the same tears of frustration? That chiropractor made me feel like the worst mom in the universe. It didn't take a lot of convincing.

I feel like I am struggling to be an entrepreneur and struggling to be a mom and struggling to be a good sister to mine who needs me right now and struggling to ... I could go on but shouldn't. I am trying to find the cheerful way to wrap this up and nothing is coming. I am not seeing the "big-picture" lesson in this particular funk.

At least my Gators won a big game yesterday. There's my silver lining...

5 comments:

Crunchy Domestic Goddess October 21, 2007 at 12:33 PM  

hugs.
it's so hard to find the right balance between taking care of your children and taking care of your own passions, desires (like having a business). i have some possible business ventures that i'm trying to get going and i've been struggling with that a lot lately.
just know you aren't alone.

Rachael October 21, 2007 at 1:15 PM  

There is nothing worse than seeing your child sick and not being able to do anything to stop it from happening. I remember when David has his horrible allergy diaper rash when he was 3weeks-3months old and i thought i was going out of my mind trying everything under the sun to cure it and nothing worked. It was hard. I am sorry the chiropractor made you feel so badly too. In terms of your business, I know that on TBW there are some great resources and articles on what you're going through. That stinks the market was slow this week.

Catherine October 21, 2007 at 8:03 PM  

I think you're the BEST mom in the universe!!! I'm sorry its been so discouraging lately. Call anytime! When can we play?

TwoSquareMeals October 21, 2007 at 10:37 PM  

You are such an amazing mom! And my friends are loving your slings. But don't keep the business up just because you feel like you need to prove something. Only do it if you still love it. I attribute the slow day at the market to the winter is on its way blahs. I remember getting those when I lived there.

I am sorry about the chiropractor. Some people go a little overboard with the health advice. When Hobbes had horrible diaper rash and recurrent thrush, I got so much conflicting advice that I broke down. If you like your ped, then trust his/her advice and your own instincts. Doctors know a lot more than people these days give them credit for! Take any wacko theories to the ped and let him help you decide if it is worth looking into.

I love you, Farrah! Remember, we are fighting mommy guilt, one blog post or comment at a time.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) October 29, 2007 at 7:26 PM  

Ok, this will sound strange on a "down-in-the-dumps" post, but I am SO glad that I found your blog. Even your discouragement is somehow encouraging to me because hey, someone else feels this way! :) Your writing is refreshing and clear and honest and I love it. I'm going to go add you to my rss reader.

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