How moms are like football kickers

I am a football fan, mostly college. I think there is no more entertaining and engaging sport to watch. Especially when the game is close or my Gators are winning. Tonight I watched a great game between the Tennessee Volunteers and the Kentucky Wildcats. 4 overtimes!! Very exciting. In any given fall weekend, whether it be college or pro, there is at least one game that is decided by a field goal or less. The whole team works so hard all game and it comes down to the skill (or sometimes luck) of one player - the place kicker. He makes it, he's the hero. He misses, he's the goat. That's a lot of pressure for one person.

My husband and I had a conversation recently that left me feeling like that place kicker on whose back the outcome of the game rides. -- Our son is pretty polite for a 20month old. He regularly says please (with words and with signs) when asking for things, he says "bless you mommy" if I sneeze, and he loves to say "thank you mommy" when I play with him or give him something he has asked for. It is pretty adorable, actually. So I asked my husband, "Do I get credit for Lucas being polite? Did I teach him that?" His answer... "I think that's just part of his personality." Really?

So here is my question: As mommies we are usually the ones on whom the day-to-day task of raising our children falls. It goes well, we are the heroes. Our children will be thanking us in their valedictorian and Pulizter Prize acceptance speeches. Not so well, the goats. They will be sitting on Dr. Phil's set explaining how we ruined their lives. But in situations like this with my polite toddler, is it o.k. or appropriate for me as my son's mother to get credit for teaching him to be polite? Granted, we have a long ways to go before we can actually say he is a polite child. At this stage of being a little sponge, he is polite. At least I think so, but I don't know a ton about what is a normal amount of politeness at this age. Why is it, though, that we as moms are quick to blame ourselves when things aren't going well but reluctant to take the credit when they are? When Lucas doesn't nap or gets yet another cold, I tell myself that I haven't trained him to sleep well or that I exposed him to too many germs. But when he learns to count to 10 (which he can almost do) and can independently solve a puzzle that says "5 and up," what is my role in that? Do I get the credit for that too, or only the bad "obviously learned" things? This is staring to feel like a nature vs. nurture argument which was not my intent. I fully recognize that both forces are always at play, in almost everything. But it struck me as odd that my husband wasn't forth coming with the praise for a job well done in teaching our son to be polite and I was definitely looking for that praise to come my way. After all, if he didn't learn it from me, where did he learn it? Is it selfish of me to desire compliments in how I have raised my child? I am pouring my life, my whole self into shaping this little man. When it goes well, is it too much to ask for people to acknowledge the fruits of my hard work? My mother-in-law is always talking about how exceptional Lucas is and how fast he is learning things compared to all the other children she encounters (and she encounters a lot working with the kids at her church). But she has never once connected Lucas' advanced skills to my efforts. Should she?
People say all the time, and I have said it plenty to others, "Your child is so cute" or "He is such a smart kid." I have a friend whose son is extremely intelligent. He was saying words I still can't say when he was 18months old. I know I have told her that I think he is super smart. But have I ever told her that she is obviously doing a good job raising him? I don't think I have.
I should (and you are BTW). Her and all my other mommy friends who are doing amazing jobs raising their kids.

So that is how I feel like that lonely kicker, coming out onto the field with a job to do and a lot of people watching with expectations that I won't let them down... although we won't know if my field goal wins or loses the game for at least a few years still.

Side note- my husband reads my blog regularly but never comments.... this might be the perfect time to start, dear. I would love to know your thoughts. :)

2nd side note- my southern fellow football fanatic friend posted about the same game I was watching. She had a lot more riding on it than I did and it all turned out in her favor... check it out!