One of those days

>> Friday, April 11, 2008

I am having a hard time connecting with my reality today. I am learning more and more that I don't adjust well when things are not as I expect them to be.

My parents were supposed to fly in last night but missed their flight due to a fender-bender and the weather in Chicago was crappy anyway. They are scheduled to arrive tonight so hubby is just staying at work until time to pick them up, which isn't until 8:18pm if all goes well. So not only was I expecting to have my parents here today, my internal clock that tells me hubby will be home around 6:30 is still ticking and I have to keep reminding myself that he won't be here. We had an early morning OB appointment that was short and sweet and then Lucas and I were back home before 9am, with a LONG day of toddler-entertainment ahead of me. I could not keep my eyes open this morning and had to turn on Sesame Street so I could close my eyes for a few minutes. We both did nap in the afternoon which was nice. But I have probably checked my e-mail and my parents' flight status about a million times today. We did a toddler craft with fruity cheerios that neither one of us was into that much. Lucas and I played zoo with his animals upstairs and I just couldn't engage. We tried to play trains and he kept getting frustrated and throwing the trains around. I think he feeds off my funks sometimes. As I sit here typing this, Lucas is having his first Play-doh experience at the table next to me and I am trying to convince him it isn't fun to eat ( he doesn't believe me yet).

I am not in a bad mood. I am not sad or reflective or melancholy. Just disconnected from mommy-reality. And to make it worse, it is cold and blustery so an outdoor activity is not an option today.

It is now 5:30pm. Time to get dinner for my toddler and my unborn child (aka- I have to find something to eat too that does not involve ketchup). This is the second night this week hubby has gotten home way after bedtime (due to his job). Lucas will definitely be getting a bath tonight just to have something to do. I think I only have two diapers left.
I gotta get out of this funk. It will all be better once hubby gets home with my parents. Life will be back on track with my expectations, probably.


Catherine April 11, 2008 at 7:00 PM  

I totally get what you're saying about expectations. We had a Very Lo-oo-oong toddler day too...we should have collaborated. :(

Atwood-Family of 3 April 11, 2008 at 7:31 PM  

The way you felt today was sort of how I felt Anne's first 18 months. Each day was a struggle to connect with her and trying to force it to happen. I just don't connect well with babies, I think. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I get how you're feeling.

TwoSquareMeals April 11, 2008 at 7:38 PM  

Must be something about the day. I spent the whole afternoon unexpectedly watching my neighbor's little boy because her mom went into the hospital. My book discussion group got cancelled after my hubby had already taken the boys to the in-laws as planned. I still had to stay home with the neighbor's boy, so I couldn't go join them. Neighbor is home, and now here I sit wondering if I should go join the fam for the night at the in-laws. I suppose I should seize the opportunity for a night alone to relax and reflect a bit. But I am too tired. Mommyhood.

Elizabeth April 11, 2008 at 9:39 PM  

Totally understand the funk thing...ugh

call me next time!

Baby Love Slings


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