Psalm Sunday- What is Love?

>> Sunday, May 17, 2009

Disclaimer: I have never claimed this blog to be a place of blind sappiness where I simply blab away about the cuteness of my boys or how great life is. I mean, my boys are certainly ultra-cute and I feel SO blessed to be their mother. But to drip on and on about how swell motherhood is would not be an accurate picture of my reality. So if you are looking for a blog that is happy-shiny-life is all roses and puppies, you might want to move on. That is not my blog, and not this post in particular.

I have been thinking a lot lately about love and what it means to give love to others and receive it for myself. I love my boys, I love my Hubby, I love my family. But the expression of those loves are all very different. And what do I need from people on order to feel loved and appreciated too. I don't have all that figured out, but what I do know is that at this point in my life my "love-needs" are changing and growing.
My need for Hubby's love is not the same now as 10 years ago. When we first started dating, the feelings of love were tingly and exciting. You know what I am talking about. I felt pursued, desired, ... loved. Now, three boys and 10years later, love feels and looks a lot different. I struggle at times to still feel loved. But, what is love really? Is it the spark, the sizzle? Is it Hubby going to work everyday to provide security for me and my boys? Doesn't it need to be a good mix of practical and romantic expressions of love? Again, I am still very much in the midst of trying to figure that all out while keeping proper perspective. But through this process, I feel like God is trying to teach me something bigger about love.
Ultimately, Love is sacrifice. It is putting the needs and desires of another ahead of your own. This past week of being in Florida with my family was somewhat of a sacrifice for me (although I was at the beach so there were definite perks too), but I did it out of love for my boys and for my family. Love is dropping the plans of my day to go to the aid of someone who has needs greater than mine.
I am learning too that I depend too much on Hubby and others to make me feel loved. God loves me. He is my All. Or at least He should be. His Love is always perfect, always exactly what I need at all times. And when I feel like Hubby's love or my family's love or my friends' love for me falls short, God's love will never fail. He is steadfast and faithful and unfailing.

I love the verse in Psalm 36 (vs. 9) that says "in Your light we see light."
In my current funk, I SO need His light to keep my on the right track.

Oh Lord, be my light and my source of true love. And teach me how to love others truly too.

Psalm 36

1
An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God before his eyes.
2 For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.
3 The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful;
he has ceased to be wise and to do good.
4 Even on his bed he plots evil; he commits himself to a sinful course
and does not reject what is wrong.
5
Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
6
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
7 How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.
10
Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart.
11
May the foot of the proud not come against me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
12
See how the evildoers lie fallen— thrown down, not able to rise!


Hungry (Kathryn Scott )

Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry
And so I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is,living for.

Broken I run to You for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
So I'll wait for You
So I'll wait for You

Hungry I come to you, for I know You satisfy





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3 comments:

Melinda May 18, 2009 at 12:23 AM  

This was such an insightful post Farrah and I adored your little disclaimer at the top. Blogs like the "shiny happy" ones you describe drive me nuts, because, let's face it, life is not all perfect, happy moments.

This post gave me a lot to think about because it made me realize that I do really put the responsibility for my own happiness on my hubby's shoulders way too much. This is something God has been working hard to show me, and something I need to work on.

Thanks for the insight! Your blog is amazing, don't you change a thing!!

melanie May 18, 2009 at 10:47 AM  

after just surviving a very turbulent time in my relationship with my husband, i recognize my need to rely on God's love instead of my husband's but it is so hard for me to know how to do that in day-to-day living. thanks for sharing your own reflection...

Katharos May 19, 2009 at 1:55 PM  

Wow, as usual this is so timely for me! I have been going through this struggle recently as well. I have wanted so desperately to be my husband's priority or at least to feel that way.

With two young kids, a new position at work for him, our marathon relocation, etc. I have felt lost in the shuffle.

I have come to realize that only Jesus can fulfill my needs in the way I desire. I am trying hard to show my husband the grace he deserves, acknowledging to myself that it is not fair to him to expect him to fulfill me completely.

Now, if I could ensure my heart felt that way all the time...

Thank you for being so open, honest, and beautiful!

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