Catching up

>> Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hubby has been super busy this week so I have hardly seen him the past few days. I am feeling kinda lonely on my third night alone but the upside to temporary-single-motherhood is that I get to catch up on all my Bravo TV that hubby would never watch with me. Due to my HD Tivo woes, I have to watch Bravo live and thus have to catch re-runs when I can in order to feed my BravoTV obsession. Monday night was "Make me a Supermodel" which is my true obsession, last night I watched "Millionaire Matchmaker" which is just ok, and then tonight I caught up on "Project Runway." For my fellow BravoTV addicts, I am in love with Perry from "Supermodel" and I was truthfully glad to see Victorya go on "PR." You may think I sound pretty sad, pathetic even. But truthfully it was really relaxing, just what the doctor ordered. It is how I wind down when real life seems overwhelming.
Speaking of catching up, I feel weird saying this in a blog post because it is such an intense issue for me right now, I am about 11+weeks pregnant and it is kicking my butt so far. The nausea is constant and only slightly less overwhelming then the internal fear that I can't shake. My friends and maybe even some of my regular readers may understand why pregnancy for me is complicated. You can read here for more background, but suffice it to say we have about a 50% chance of having to walk again down a path that nearly killed me the first time. I want to write more about what is going on with me since writing here had proven to be unexpectedly therapeutic for me. But I had to spill the beans first. Sorry to those of you that may find out here. Please understand that we have been holding this very close, mostly because it is taking me time to adjust to either potential future reality.

So now we both are caught up.

3 comments:

Heather January 31, 2008 at 1:26 PM  

Oh Farrah! I am excited and anxious with you. You are braver than me. I could not walk that path again emotionally.

God is faithful. He walks with you. Remember that He loves ALL of your babies even more than you do! I am praying for you, dear sister.

Keep me posted!

Rachael January 31, 2008 at 2:39 PM  

The fear and such must feel overwhelming at times, I know when I was pregnant we didn't tell anyone until I was 12 weeks and if I had my way, I would have waited even longer than that - 14-16 weeks probably. I will be thinking of you and praying for you b/c it sounds so very difficult and painful yet joyful and exciting all in one (not to mention exhausting with the nausea and pg tiredness!)

Catherine February 4, 2008 at 2:49 PM  

We love you, Farrah. Thanks for letting us walk with you.

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