Peaceful evening, Busy day

>> Saturday, May 17, 2008


Sorry that I have been MIA this week. My little fingers have been too busy sewing to type. I had my first French Market of the season today and spent almost every spare moment this week getting ready. It was a long, very full day which started with set up at 6am and ended with tear down around 3pm. A lot for my pregnant feet and legs to take. But a fun day none-the-less! I love getting to talk to other moms about babywearing and see how surprised they often are at how easy it is and how much their munchkins take to it right away. I had one mom love the sling so much when she tried it on today, that she didn't even take her daughter out. She bought the one she tried on and walked away with baby in sling and her produce bag in the stroller. Love it!!! I did not reach my sales goal for the day, but I did put some slings in the hands of some busy mamas in need of those hands free and that is what it is truly all about for me. Thanks to all who made it out today for moral support and to those I met that may be reading this. It is always a pleasure. :)

Lucas slept at Grandma's house last night so that hubby could help me set up this morning. We had also intended to go out for bowling and karaoke with some people from our church. But we both got home around 8:15 and the house was SO quiet. Even the dog was being super chill. Hubby and I looked at each other and decided this rare moment of total calm in our home was too good to pass up. We took the dog for an evening walk ('cuz it was still so warm out) and then curled up in bed with chocolate pudding for dessert and watched a movie. No hanky panky, which one might expect on an evening when the kid is at Grandma's. We just had a wonderfully peaceful evening of enjoying each other's company without the buzz of the baby monitor and sound machine in the background.

There was one other thing worthy of mention that happened at the Market today....
Hubby had helped me unload and brought me a carmel decaf mocha from Starbucks and then went home to get a bit more sleep. As I set up my tables, I was feeling nervous about the day. Afraid to fail. I had pictures of Lucas in the sling all around me and I couldn't help but think about how fun it will be to get to start all over with Baby Next in the sling. Around 7am, the people in the booth next to me finally arrived and began to set up their stuff. There was a little boy with them, probably about 5 or 6, who had the most adorable blonde hair and brown eyes (just like my little Lucas). He was asking a million questions and wanting explanantions for all he was seeing. "Why is that lady pushing a wagon?" "Will mommy have to stay here past time for lunch?" It was really cute. I felt like I was seeing my future, a precocious and very verbal little boy who was is just so curious about the world around. Then I heard them say his name. Micah. All of a sudden my nerves and anticipation turned into tears. I couldn't contain the emotion of it all. I sat and watched this little guy play. He is so much like what I think Lucas will be at that age. Is this what my Micah would have been like? This wound still feels so deep at times. I go on with life, 'cuz you have to, but moments like this come along when I feel caught in time. Like I am re-living years of time all in a second and maybe even getting a glimpse of what I have lost missed. I sat and watched for what seemed like minutes but was probably less than a minute. Micah's dad said, "thanks for being such a helper buddy. Let's leave mommy to sell her things now." And with that they left. And I got back to my slings, feeling emotional but somehow blessed. Maybe my Micah would have been like this little boy. And maybe Lucas will grow up to be like that too. But on a day when I was feeling unsure of myself, it was a reminder of the things that are deeply true in my life. My boys and how grateful I am for all three. Kinda puts a sub-par sales day all in perspective.

2 comments:

Elizabeth May 18, 2008 at 11:46 AM  

I am so sorry I missed it! It was an amazing day for it! We were a little crazy with the Baptism. I am disappointed I missed seeing you!

I have no idea what I want to say about the emotions you felt regarding your Micah and the neighbor's Micah, but I would like to hug you for it. My bet would be on Micah being strong and helpful and an excellent leader for Lucas (leading him sometimes into mischief) what else are big brothers for??

Heather May 19, 2008 at 1:13 PM  

There is a little girl at church who is about 4 months younger than our Susie would be. I get misty eyed every time I see her go to the altar rail with her mommy.

I always how life would be different if she were still here...

Hugs.

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