Weight of the Moment

I don't know if I will be able to fully communicate the absolute preciousness and humor of the story I am about the relay to you. The moment was one of the most priceless and one of the funniest of my motherhood journey so far. Mostly I just feel the need to document it somewhere and share with y'all how totally awesome my boys are. :)

We have this CD of songs from the Toy Story movies. The boys love it. Me... not so much. But I give in at certain times, especially when we have a long-ish drive somewhere or there is much fighting/whining/over-all crankiness happening in the back seat. Tonight I let them listen to it as we were driving to and from this launch party in Naperville for the ToyStory 3DVD. But when we were leaving Chick-fil-A after dinner and I reluctantly turned on the CD again, Lucas suggested we instead put on our CD of "Jesus songs" (their term for worship songs). Happy to listen to something else and something soothing, I quickly obliged. Half way through This Little Light of Mine, Lucas says "Mommy, who is Satan?" Not what I was anticipating for my 7pm drive home, but I ran with it anyway.
From that question sparked one of the most awesome conversations I have ever had with Lucas. We talked about angels and what it means to serve God as our King and why we sometimes sin and heaven and the second coming of Jesus... we ran the full spectrum. Some of L's comments/questions throughout this conversation were priceless:

"So, God is kinda like Batman and Satan is the Joker."
"I only know two things about heaven: My brother Micah lives there and the streets are covered in gold. Oh, and it is somewhere up in the clouds even though I have never seen it when I have been in lots of airplanes."
"Do we have to wait until we die to get to heaven or can we get there while we are still alive?"
"How will we know when Jesus is coming back? What if we are inside and we don't see Him coming down through the clouds? Do you think we might think the trumpet music is just the tornado siren?"
"When will Jesus come back to get us?"

I assured him that the trumpets announcing Jesus' return to earth would be the most beautiful music he had ever heard and that he would know the second he heard it that Jesus was coming to take him to heaven. (Only a mid-western child would be worried he would confuse the trumpets with an emergency tornado-warning! Ha!!)
For all my not-so-proud mommy moments, I am so thankful that God gives me moments like these. Moments when I can talk to my boys about the most important things, eternal things. Moments when I feel like I am investing in their souls and not just providing for their bodies. To talk with Lucas about heaven tonight and about that moment when Christ will come back to take us home was a moment I will never forget. And to see Caden sit quietly in his seat, hanging on very word.... well, I'll just say that the weight of the moment was not lost on me. I felt it sit on my shoulders. I chose my words carefully, knowing I was shaping their views on the most crucial of truths. And yet as sure as I was that God had ordained that moment, I prayed that He would put the right words on my tongue and protect their little hearts. I have to trust that the Holy Spirit will takes those little seeds of truth and bloom them into something great in those boys. I pray it will every cell of my being.

We got out of the car and headed into the house. Walking up the front steps, Caden says "Shhh, Mommy, do you hear Jesus coming?"
Lucas replies, "Caden, that isn't Jesus. That is just Hadley (our dog!). We don't know when Jesus will come back for us, Caden. It could be tomorrow or it could be a long, long time from now like 20years. But when He does come, won't that be cool?!"

In that moment, I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry. Even writing this, I am doing both. Their language is funny. Their hearts are priceless. Both are so, so precious.
I hope I was somewhat able to convey the events of our car ride home is a way the accurately reflects the truth. It was very cute and yet eternally significant. As I was rubbing his legs at bedtime, I told Lucas how special our earlier conversation was to me. "Thank you, Mommy, for telling me all those things about heaven and Jesus. I read things about Him in books but you have a lot of things to tell me that I need to know. I like hearing what you have to tell me. If you don't tell me, I can't be very smart about it."

If that isn't motivation, I'm not sure what else would be.
Thank you, Lord, for tonight's moment. Help me to be a wise steward of such moments in the future and of their little souls that have temporarily been entrusted to me.




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The Sweetest Sound

I was brought to tears today standing in the sanctuary of a church I do not attend. I was surrounded by moms and children I don't know after 3hours of wrangling guiding 12 kindergartners around a church building I don't know. But it was a very meaningful moment none-the-less.
This morning, I was a volunteer tribe leader for the VBS Lucas is attending. For 3 hours, I helped an energetic group of 6year olds make crafts and run around a gym with sponges on their head and eat a snack and go potty and sing songs and get to the right place at the right time. It was a crazy morning. Fun, but very tiring. At the end of the day, all the tribes came together for a final story and song.
So as I stood in this unknown sanctuary in a pew full of unknown kids, I was overwhelmed by the sound of over a hundred kids singing How Great is Our God (Chris Tomlin). I could just barely see Lucas in his pew several rows in front of me. I stood and sang along with these kids, watching them do the sign language they have been taught as they sang these amazing words.

How Great is Our God! Sing with me, How Great is our God!

I couldn't help but be deeply touched by seeing Lucas sing and do the motions along with this host of other kids. Hearing their sweet voices proclaim such profound and life-changing words was one of the most precious things I have ever heard. I stopped singing to drink in the moment and say a quick prayer for Lucas and Caden and all these other kids that they would truly know that their God is Great and that they would base their life on that knowledge.

I am going to try to get it on video tomorrow. If I can, I'll share for sure.





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Time Out

It is sometimes all too easy for me to go about my life and not make God part of my daily routine. I am quick to offer up a quick prayer in rushing about, but when it comes to making God a very real part of my day I often fall short.
I sat in church today as my fellow house church community went around and shared updates on their lives and needs and praises and prayer requests. As I listened, I was overwhelmed with the presence of God. It felt real and tangible and, well, right. God was there, receiving the honor we were giving as we acknowledged our need for Him and what we have already received from Him. What a simple concept, yet one that doesn't always come easy or natural. Sitting there today, I felt refreshed by the presence of God. I wanted to drink it all in and not waste this precious feeling of closeness and communion with God. But in this moment, I was also reflecting on why this doesn't happen for me more often. Why do I not feel this close communion with God all the time? I certainly have moments of despair and questioning but also moments of sheer joy and laughter. God is in all of that with me, yet I do not always focus on Him. I focus on the complexity of the situation or the depth of love I feel for my boys, not recognizing that God is there and wants to be my constant companion in both.
I need a time out. Or more accurately, I need to take time out. Time to stop during the days, during the moments, and acknowledge that God is indeed with me. He is guiding me as a mom, helping me get through my days, strengthening me and upholding me. And you too. I need to take the time to make sure my focus is Him in every moment.
I am not one to over-spiritualize things or life in general. I am practical enough and know myself well-enough to know that the reality of this will look different than the ideal. I am not a nun living in solitude (although that sounds nice from time to time). But, a good start will be to periodically just take a time out and acknowledge God's presence in my day. He is not just present with me on Sundays. He is present with me as I make Lucas waffles or put Caden down for a nap or take the dog potty for the ump-teenth time. He is present when Lucas makes me laugh or when I am so tired I want to cry. And present with you too.

Psalm 90
¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
³ You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
⁴ For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
⁵ You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-
⁶ though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered.
⁷ We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.
⁸ You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ The length of our days is seventy years—or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
¹¹ Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
¹² Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
¹³ Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.
¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and
be glad all our days.
¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
¹⁷ May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands
for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.


excerpt from Moment Made for Worshipping- Steven Curtis Chapman

This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping
.
.
.
.
From the rising of the sun
To the setting the sun
The name of the Lord is worthy to be praised



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