Transitioning to Whatever is Next
>> Wednesday, September 9, 2009
It has been a big week around here.
Lucas started school. Yes, my baby is now in school. I haven't had to drop-and-go yet... that starts tomorrow. But Tuesday was the first actual session of preschool. The parents got to stay the first day, to help the transition for the moms the kids. We had a fun morning of checking out all the fun stuff preschool has to offer. Lucas didn't want to leave at the end so hopefully that bodes well for his first solo-day tomorrow.
I am truthfully not looking forward to leaving him. I am sure he will do fine. I, on the other hand, will be obsessively watching the clock 'til time to go pick him up. I will eventually adjust too, it just may take a couple drop-offs. :)
My most emotional moment on Tuesday came when we all went outside for some playtime. 
Lucas saw a pinwheel in the toy basket. He immediately went over and picked it up and stuck it in the ground. "This is what we do at the cemetery, Mommy. So this pinwheel is for my brother Micah." I had to turn away for a second so Lucas and all the other moms/kids wouldn't see me wipe the tears away. It was an emotional moment for me. Lucas growing up before my eyes, thinking about Micah and see how the remembering has become a part of Lucas' life just as it is a part of mine.
The other big event of this week- Caden is no longer co-sleeping and is mostly sleeping through the night. He has slept all the way through only once but even if he wakes up, Hubby or I go in and lay him back down (not ever picking him up) and pat him 'til he is calm. Then, we turn and walk out. He cries for a few minutes (last night it was 3min) and then falls back asleep. No night-nursies, no hours of dramatic crying- much more sleep for everyone! It is pretty amazing that the transition was this easy. It really only took one sleepless night for Hubby (and Caden and me too) over Labor Day weekend and we have all been sleeping better since. The boys are even sleeping in the same room now! I think I am still a bit in disbelief that this will continue. But so far, so good. I am getting more sleep than I have in years. Literally. Which can only be a good thing. I do miss my little night-time cuddler, but I still bring him in bed with me in the morning when he wakes up for some good cuddles and nursies. Even Lucas has been sleeping longer. We all generally get up around 6 or 6:30 now which is a vast improvement from the 5am (or earlier) wake-up call Lucas has been known to give me.
So... my one child is starting preschool and the other is sleeping in his own crib all night. Wow, life is sure changing. Next time I blink, both boys will be in school and then life will really start to look different. Right after Caden was born when life was really draining, I daily reminded myself that life wouldn't always look that way. Those days feel long, still do sometimes, but every phase transitions into something new with a new challenge. I am getting more sleep and the boys are growing more independent by the day. The challenges of having an infant are mostly behind me. The next challenge? Maybe starting the letting go. Maybe. :)
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