So we did make it trick-or-treating with our friends. He took a 15min nap in the car on the way to meet them and woke up surprisingly refreshed. We had fun and Lucas looked super cute. He loves dinos so we went with that although the costume may have looked more like a gator... it was awesome either way!! We went to a local retirement community with a friend where the residents were having a little party and trick-or-treating for the kids. It was awesome to see Lucas interact with the residents and how their faces lite up with all the kids running around. Then after a brief visit to our Aunt Julie at work (who just got engaged!!), we went to our friends' house and trick-or-treated with them for an hour or so. It was a good ending to a very frustrating day.
It is so amazing to me how someone so little can make me SO frustrated. When he do
esn't nap and I think he should, I can't keep it together. I know I have a problem with expectations. If my husband tells me in the morning that he wi
ll be home at 6:30 and he gets home instead at 6:45, I freak out. For those 15minutes I am pacing, wondering why he has let me down and why I don't have help when I think I should. But, if he were to tell me in the morning that he won't be home until 7pm or later, then I am not mad at 6:45 when I don't have help. I expected it. It is the same with Lucas' naps. If I mentally expect to have a break at a certain time and he won't nap, I start this domino chain of frustration and self-pity. The more frustrated I get with him, the more likely he is to get upset and not settle down to fall asleep. I become a mom I hate, I don't want to be that mom. It becomes a really vicious cycle.
How do I keep from letting myself expect things to be a certain way? Do I tell myself all day that he will have no nap and hubby won't get home until after meal and bed time? Then I will pleasantly surprised if things turn out more fortunate than that. Is that the only way to stop that first domino from falling? I would like to think that there is a better way. Maturity, discipline... I don't know. I often close my eyes and pray for God to grant me peace and calm and keep me seeing the big picture. It works for a little while. I sometimes have to just put him in the crib and close the door. We are not "cry-it-out" people. That has just not been our style. Sometimes, though, I just need a few minutes of quiet before I try again.
Lucky for me,
Lucas is very forgiving at this age. I think it is God's mercy on mothers, especially first time mothers, that our children don't develop long-term memories until age 2-3. That might give me some time to figure this out. As soon as I am ready to give up and let him play, he smiles and looks at me and says something totally adorable that melts me back into reality. He isn't doing it to frustrate me. He loves me and I cherish him. That is hard to keep on the forefront of thought when I really need a break and he won't stop screaming.
No one told me this thing called Motherhood would be so trying but so rewarding too. I love that little dino... he definitely has a loud roar though!!!
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This last week has felt very much like fall. We returned from Florida to temps in the 60's and autumn color all around. This weekend has been right around 70degrees with clear blue skies and crisp fall air. Love it!!! We have been making applesauce and carving pumpkins and other fun fall things. Tonight I even caved and let the boys try on their Halloween costumes... SO, SO Cute!!! Well.... see for yourself:
