Change of Heart

Stop by my house any given Sunday at around 9:45-10am and you are almost guaranteed to see chaos. Hubby and I are dressing boys, trying to get dressed ourselves, feeding people and getting food ready to take to church (our house church always has lunch together after the service), taking the dog out, ... There is always some sort of last minute thing or complication that delays us getting out the door. And hubby hates to be late, especially to church.
Since we do go to a house church, the environment is a bit more casual and laid back during the service. I usually have at least one boy on my lap during church and then after the service we have to deal with the challenge of feeding ourselves and our toddler and getting home before pre-nap meltdown begins or Lucas falls asleep in the car (which is NOT good 'cuz then he won't sleep at home). Sundays are not always a day of rest around here, at least not before 1pm. This level of busy-ness and lack of structure makes it hard for me to concentrate at church. Hard to be worshipful and reflective and intentional. But I realized something today. It is not really about what is going on around me that makes it hard for me to "enter in." Well it is, but that is not the full story.
We were responsible for teaching the kids today. The lesson was on the boyhood of Jesus and we just got the materials last night. So after we got home from a wonderful belated birthday dinner out, hubby and I read over the lesson and planned out what we were going to say and present to the kids.
Then today in church, before going downstairs to teach the kids, I was more "present" for worship than I have been in awhile. Lucas was throwing a tantrum, we had the normal level of crazy this morning, but still my mind felt calm. My heart was still.
Why? I can't say 100%. Probably partly because Hubby and I had some much needed connecting time last night, partly because I got a little extra sleep this morning. Maybe too because I actually took the time to fix my hair and not pull it back in a pony-tail this morning so I felt a little more put-together. But I can't help but think it is also because I read over that lesson last night. And then again this morning and was running over the story in my head, thinking about Jesus in the temple with the priests and what God would have me the kids learn from this story. My heart was a little more focused, a little more centered. And church was great. Even the meal after felt less hurried, less crazy. Lesson learned, hopefully.

Psalm 86
A prayer of David.

1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God;
save your servant who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life— men without regard for you.
15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger,
abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant and save the son of your maidservant.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.


Change my Heart, Oh God (Words and Music by Eddie Espinosa)

Change my heart oh God, make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God, may I be like You.

You are the potter, I am the clay,
mold me and make me, this is what I pray.

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Things I have recently done while Babywearing

Cook a full Thanksgiving dinner

Decorate the house for Christmas
(and undecorate the house from Christmas)

Change a stinky diaper (or 2 or 3 or...)

Order groceries online (thank you PeaPod)

Iron fabric for slings and other sewing projects


Teach other people how to wear their babies

Participate in a Drum Circle

Clean up dog poo in the backyard

Soothe my sick toddler

Empty and reload the dishwasher

Fly to California (babywearing in the airport and on the plane too)

Attend a funeral

.

Watch my Gators play football...and WIN!! HOORAY!!

Hold my toddler's hand through a very crowded museum

Play cars and pretend to be a car

And oh-so-much more....

What are some of yours? We mommies get creative and just do what we gotta do!!

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You can take the girl out of Florida...

...But you can't take the Florida out of the girl!!!

And this Florida girl is just trying to stay calm and not let my anxiety get the better of me. BIG game tonight, HUGE!! I have the biggest of crushes on Tim Tebow and even have Hubby's permission to marry him if he were ever to offer. :) I'd be just as thrilled with an autograph (hint, hint to my sister who is AT the game- that lucky girl!!). I really just want my Gators to win and win big!! Timmy deserves it! We are eating orange foods for dinner, I have my toes painted blue, I am wearing an orange tank top and Gator flip-flops...I am ready to cheer !! Just one thing left to say...

GO GATORS!!! Make this Florida girl proud!!

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Another year older...

...but I'm not sure about the wiser part. I am 32 today. The big, insignificant, smack in the midst of my 30's 3-2!! I am usually one to reflect and ponder life on my birthday. And doing so in this moment, I am just struck by the fabulousness of my life. For all the challenges and sometimes struggles, I am an abundantly blessed girl. I see that very clearly in this moment.

Oblige this birthday girl as I share with you some of the reasons I am a grateful girl whose heart, today, is overwhelmed by the blessings of all my boys (shown in order of their entrance into my world)

Hubby showing yet one more way you can wear a wrap :) I wouldn't recommend putting a baby in this hold... a basket of fruit perhaps

Micah, looking up at his Mama

Sweet (yet sometimes oh-so-naughty) Hadley Barkalicious (that is his full name)

The joy of my life- LRB

My CLB, with eyes the sparkle and a smile that melts me.

For more Wordful Wednesday, visit Angie @ Seven Clown Circus

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Nap time Woes

Yesterday morning, while changing Caden's diaper and watching Lucas play on his train table, it occur ed to me... my baby is almost 5months old!! WHAT!! How did that happen?!?! My sweet little newborn is fastly going from "lay-there-stay-put-go-with-the-flow" infant to "opinionated-on-the-go-schedule-balking" older baby. He is rolling over, starting to sit up, finding his "voice" and making the most adorable "talking" noises... So now, the lines I have been feeding myself about it being OK that he is not on a schedule and doesn't take predictable naps, those don't really fly anymore. This kid needs some structure. And mama needs him to nap by himself for longer than 30 min.

Lucas was never a good napper and we have dealt with sleep issues with him from day-one. He has never slept-in, never taken long independent naps and has always seemed to get by on less sleep than other kids his age. I do not want to repeat that with Caden. It is exhausting. He is already shoeing some signs of liking only to nap with me or while someone hold him. No, no little Caden. We will not be walking that road again.

In order to help me change the course and teach me how to teach Caden how to nap, I decided to get some help from the experts. Elizabeth Pantley's new book The No-Cry Nap Solution ( full title: “The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems” by Elizabeth Pantley) has a lot of good ideas and solutions for whatever your/my nap time woes are... and boy, do I have them.

Admittedly, I have only read about half the book, so far. I WILL read the whole thing at least once. I love how she is not at all condemning of different philosophies. She says that it is OK if your baby only naps in a sling if you want it to be that way. It is only a problem if you think it is a problem or you don't know how to transition out of it eventually. She talks about co-sleeping and how to work that into your nap time solutions. The most helpful thing for me so far is the info on sleep cycles in babies and how much/how often he should be sleeping. Did you know that when a baby wakes up after a 40min nap, it is probably because he/she hasn't learned how to transition from one sleep stage to the next so you just have to help them learn that? I also love the information of what she calls the "sleep gifts," the benefits bestowed on our bodies from each stage of sleep. This has been really helpful as I take a close look at Lucas' overall sleep habits and ways I can help him adjust to get the most out of his nighttime sleep and naps. My only complaint so far (and again, I haven't read the whole thing yet so maybe this comes later) is that there isn't much talk about strategies when you have an older child to entertain too and can't just sit by the baby as he sleeps. That is my challenge at the moment.

Plus, in the midst of trying to teach Caden to be an amazing napper, I have decided that it is time for Lucas to be potty-trained. Call me crazy... I call myself that every day! But the boy is almost 3 and is just being stubborn! I need to get Ms. Pantley's book about No-Cry Potty Training next. Does the "no-cry" apply to Lucas or me? :) I would love to hear from mommies of little boys out there about how best to potty train stubborn little men who can't be pulled away from the glorious train-table long enough to even sit on the potty. Maybe I need to get him some reading material and let his daddy teach him the fine art of potty time being reading time. :)

So this week, I am taking some of the ideas I am getting from Ms. Pantley's book and I am teaching my baby how to nap....hopefully. Wish me luck! :)

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Psalm Sunday- the comeback

Admitedly, I am a slacker... a huge, easily distracted, too-much-on-my-plate slacker mom. My resolve to post a weekly reflection to keep me grounded and give me much needed perspective for the week has certainly been lacking lately. No promises that I will be as consistent as I should, but here's trying...


Today in church we talked about the difference between charity and unselfishness as discussed by C.S. Lewis in the Screwtape Letters. Unselfishness is doing something for others but making it clear that you are doing so at the expense of your own needs or wants or goals. It is still about you and can make the recipient of your unselfish deed feel that they owe you a favor in return. On the other hand, charity is doing something nice for others or giving to someone in need with no regard for your own needs. Helping others is the goal and so there is no need for the recipient to recognize how you sacrificed to help them. Unselfishness says "I'll give to you even though it is not my first choice." But charity says "It is my desire to help you and I feel good when I am able to reach out to those in need."
What a poignant distinction, at least to me. In what spirit do I give to others? Do I want them and others to know my sacrifice or do I give simply to help someone in need without needing any recognition or payback? Is my goal and desire to help or be seen as someone who helps? Am I just unselfish or do I truly exercise the virtue of charity? What about you?

Lord, make Your face shine upon this servant, that I may know and do your will with Your heart and not for any personal gain. Save me in your unfailing love.

Psalm 31

1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols; I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends— those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. (I just love that verse! It is truly my prayer.)
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD, for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.


(No song this week.... I need to get to bed and the Psalm speaks for itself.)

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The Problem Is...

Lucas has a new obsession.... the movie "Cars". We borrowed it from my sister-in-law and he already has a good portion of the movie memorized. He only watches in 20-30min. segments but he wants to watch it all the time. The little $2 Lightning McQueen matchbox car he got in his stocking is one of his favorite Christmas gifts.

So, this morning as we were finishing breakfast, he asked me to watch a bit of the movie. "No," I told him, "we have to go upstairs and get ready for church."

He came and got right up in my face and said...

"The problem is, mommy, that I don't want to do that. I just want to watch "Cars" and NOT get ready for church."

I couldn't contain my laughter! What 2 year old talks like that?!?! I guess my little precocious man who is too-smart-for-his-own-good. So hilarious!

Since when does my two year old make the rules? Oh, yeah...he just thinks he does. :)

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