Catching up

Hubby has been super busy this week so I have hardly seen him the past few days. I am feeling kinda lonely on my third night alone but the upside to temporary-single-motherhood is that I get to catch up on all my Bravo TV that hubby would never watch with me. Due to my HD Tivo woes, I have to watch Bravo live and thus have to catch re-runs when I can in order to feed my BravoTV obsession. Monday night was "Make me a Supermodel" which is my true obsession, last night I watched "Millionaire Matchmaker" which is just ok, and then tonight I caught up on "Project Runway." For my fellow BravoTV addicts, I am in love with Perry from "Supermodel" and I was truthfully glad to see Victorya go on "PR." You may think I sound pretty sad, pathetic even. But truthfully it was really relaxing, just what the doctor ordered. It is how I wind down when real life seems overwhelming.
Speaking of catching up, I feel weird saying this in a blog post because it is such an intense issue for me right now, I am about 11+weeks pregnant and it is kicking my butt so far. The nausea is constant and only slightly less overwhelming then the internal fear that I can't shake. My friends and maybe even some of my regular readers may understand why pregnancy for me is complicated. You can read here for more background, but suffice it to say we have about a 50% chance of having to walk again down a path that nearly killed me the first time. I want to write more about what is going on with me since writing here had proven to be unexpectedly therapeutic for me. But I had to spill the beans first. Sorry to those of you that may find out here. Please understand that we have been holding this very close, mostly because it is taking me time to adjust to either potential future reality.

So now we both are caught up.

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New Bloggy Giveaways

Today in Chicagoland, it was 50degrees and the snow was melting. Is spring around the corner? Not really... the wind was still very cold and we are back to single digits tomorrow. Oh, well. At least we had a little break. Plus, there is nothing like a little giveaway-goodness to ease the winter-blues.

Rocks in My Dryer is hosting another amazing Bloggy Giveaway carnival. For hundreds of giveaways, go here.

My giveaway this time around is a sling for your little one to wear. I am a huge believer in the value of babywearing, for both mama and baby. Giving your little one a sling of their own teaches them to nurture others in the same way that they have been nurtured. My 2-yr. old son loves to carry his treasures in his own little sling. He carries his puppy doll, his dumptruck, whatever he loves and wants to keep close.

Nurture your little nurturer with a child-size sling just for them. To win any of the doll slings offered on my website, please just visit my site and choose your favorite fabric. Then leave a comment on this post telling me your pick and make sure I have a way to contact you if you win. I will close comments on Friday, Feb. 1st and will pick a winner at random on Saturday morning. I will notify the winner via e-mail so again, be sure I have your address.

As a bonus for all my bloggy giveaway visitors, use coupon code "giveaway" for 15% off any sling orders. www.babyloveslings.com Ease your own winter-blues with a new sling for spring!!

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Feeling kinda Green

I've written in the past about how I feel I should be doing more to protect our earth, to make it a better place for Lucas both now and in the future. I fall FAR short most days of being environmentally-conscious but today I am patting myself on the back for at least some good effort. Some steps in the right direction perhaps...

Lucas wore cloth diapers all day today, even when we went out to a friend's house. That is a rarity for me. But when he gets colds he tends to get horrible diaper rash so I did it as a precaution.

I was inspired by my friend April to start making my own juice, so I have been. We started simple and then today we made apple-carrot-pineapple juice. It is super yummy and a good cold-weather-amuse-your-toddler activity. Lucas is OBSESSED with cooking so he thought it was very cool that we were making our own juice. "Loud noise, mommy! Cooking juice!" He gulps it right up and mommy feels good that he is getting his veges. :) This may not be a particularly "green" thing to do, but it is more natural so I counted it.

My friend Cath and I just joined a local CSA which will start this spring. I am excited about all the fresh, yummy, organic produce and learning some new recipes when I have a bushel of artichokes. Cath did get a cookbook similar to this one to get us started.

The gas company guy came by today to see if we qualified for a rate freeze so Nicor can't raise our rates. He asked me if I wanted to make a portion of my natural gas come from "green" sources. Why not? It is a little extra each month but seems like the right thing to do. Renewable resources, right?

So, small steps that may not be much. But it makes me feel like I am on the right path anyway. At least today.

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Popular for a day

The website popularbabyproducts.com is featuring my slings today.... Hooray!! Check it out if you have a second. I'm kinda excited about it and pretty honored that they chose me. There is a discount code there too if anyone is in need of some sling lovin'. Feel free to leave a comment so they think I'm cool. It will be someone else's turn tomorrow. I'm only popular for a day. But I am grateful for that day. Thanks everyone. :)

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The Bethlehem Express

As I began to put away the Christmas decorations today (finally!!), Lucas decided to send Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus off in style. No donkey for them this time. All aboard!!

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Is there really green grass on the other side?

The weather here in Chicagoland is dreary today. It started out just cold and gray and now there is snow falling and giving the ground a light dusting of white. It is pretty to watch from the warmth of my couch. Here I sit, thinking about a million things and letting my mind get lost in the falling flakes.

So many things about life feel up in the air right now. I could list them but I wouldn't want to bore you or even let my mind go down that path. I may not get back.

Do you ever look at the people around you and wonder, "Do they live a care-free life?" I see celebrities who are pregnant and I wonder if they have the same worries and fears and struggles. They seem to live such charmed lives, most of them. Sometimes you hear of their struggles. Courtney Cox had trouble conceiving, Jenny McCarthy's son has autism, Britney and her drama, etc... But most of the time, you hear of J.Lo's twins and their expensive nurseries or how so-and-so lost 50lbs in 6wks. after having her baby or other pregnant celebs and their dreamy lives. Are they really as dreamy as they are portrayed to be?

I live in a city of comfort and security. Most people around me at the local grocery store probably live in a huge house and have a huge savings account and kids in private school and perfect teeth. But is their life as dreamy as it looks?

Is the grass ever really greener on the other side or does it just look that way?

While shopping at that same grocery store with the comfortable people with perfect teeth, I am only a few miles from an area of housing that is home to many World Relief refugees and others who cannot afford much more. Do they look at me in my Gap khakis and Ann Taylor sweater (both Christmas presents) and wonder if I live a care-free life?

I am certainly not trying to put myself in any position of superiority or inferiority to anyone. I am just struck lately at how often I wish certain things were different, how much time I waste watching other people in the stores or on TV and wondering what my life would be like if I had some of the things that they have.

If I was a celebrity, I wouldn't have to worry about paying bills and how much I could spend on groceries today. If my journey had been different, I wouldn't be so afraid of history repeating. But would there just be something else, something that I can't even fathom because that thing is currently in the category of care-free to me?

I have always been a worrier, a planner...o.k. controlling. I get anxious when things are uncertain and there's not much I can do about it. Presently, I find myself in several situations where the outcome is uncertain. One particular situation in which, when most people are here, they feel joy and anticipation and a desire to tell the world. I am not feeling that joy. Other people are on my behalf, and for that I am mostly grateful. I can't help but wish I were any number of people I know or I see that can be pregnant and care-free. I remember having a small taste of that brand of care-free once, a long time ago, before so many things.

The snow has stopped and I should too. There is a dreamy white covering over the ground. I can't even see the grass to tell you if it is green. But hopefully come Spring, I won't have to look on the other side to find green grass. It's probably the same color over there anyway.

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My newest obsession

Over Christmas, my sister got me hooked on the show "Project Runway" on Bravo. So now, my latest obsession is "Make me a Supermodel," also on Bravo. I think I like it for some of the same reasons that I am a "Sex in the City" fan.... fashion, drama, living vicariously through total strangers... These beautiful people are competing for a contract with a top NY model agency. I love the challenges and the clothes. I am officially hooked. "Project Runway" feeds that same obsession. I wouldn't call myself a fashionable dresser but I fantasize that I am and maybe will be someday. I so wish I could design cool clothes or at least wear them. I love the unique styles, the classic and the crazy. I love picking my favorite and then cheering them on. My favorite super-model-wanna-bes are Perry and Jacki. My one problem, our Tivo isn't connected to our HD Cable so I can't record these shows. I will have to try to catch them live or one of the many re-runs throughout the week. It is like an hour vacation for my brain. I need that now and then.

Speaking of reality TV obsessions, three more days until Idol....

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